Thursday, September 04, 2014

Thursday, August 28, 2014

A joke.

A male porn star is out in his yard raking leaves when he spots his neighbor outside. They start talking about this and that...small talk mostly.

Here is the good part of the conversation:

PORNSTAR: "So what did you do last night?"

MAN NEIGHBOR: "I went out on a blind date."

PORNSTAR: "How was it?"

MAN NEIGHBOR: "Eh. It was okay...we only got to first base."

PORNSTAR: "That's too bad....but at least you got your ass licked."

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Thursday, July 31, 2014

New checks.

This morning I was writing out a few checks to suppliers when I noticed I was running low on blank checks.

I went to the little box I keep checks in and pulled out the little reorder form.

In bold letters it said:

REORDERING CHECKS HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER!

And then it proceeded to tell me how to go about it online or on the phone.

I used to just say to a bank teller: "I need more checks." And she took care of it (bank tellers are women)

SO IT'S NOT EASIER NOW!!

Lying pricks!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

BATMAN DAY

CUSTOMER: "Is today Batman Day?"

ME: "No...yesterday was."

CUSTOMER: "What is today?"

ME: "Thursday."

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

The Priest

So about an hour ago a priest came into my shop. He was young...maybe early 30s. First time in.

We started taking about toys and stuff. We seemed to be hitting it off well.

 Here is the rest of the conversation:

ME: "Are you really a priest?"

PRIEST: "Yes."

ME: "You seem kinda short to be a priest."

PRIEST: "How tall are priests supposed to be?"

ME: "I think around 5' 10" or taller."

PRIEST: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

ME: :::smiling:::

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Saturday, June 28, 2014

Amazon Woman....Bang! Zoom! To the Moon!

MOM TO DAUGHTER: "So just look around the store, pick out what you want, and I'll order it from Amazon."

ME:  "You do know I'm standing right here, correct?"

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Balls.

A woman in her late sixties came in my shop the other day. Here is that conversation.

WOMAN: "Hello...do you have balls?"

ME: "Yes....what kind are you looking for?"

WOMAN: "I want some nice ones that will fit in my hand."

ME: "How about these?" [I showed her my balls]

WOMAN: "No...those are a tad too small?"

ME: "Would you like some the size of a baseball?"

WOMAN: "That size but something more squeezable."

ME: "Nope....just these hard ones. Try the guy down at the Dollar Store...I'm sure he has some."

WOMAN: "That's a good idea! Thanks for your help."

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(I kept a straight face the whole time. )