Thursday, March 02, 2006

Fast FoodsThat Sound Dirty

These are all actual menu items:

1. The Whopper *giant penis* (Burger King)

2. The Big Mac *giant penis with special sauce* (McDonalds)

3. Pigs in a Blanket *lesbian whores at an orgy* (IHOP)

4. Taco Supreme *giant vagina* (Taco Bell)

5. Jumbo Jack w/Cheese *masturbating,ejaculating* (Jack in theBox)

6. Breast/thigh combo *Normal, well adjusted male fetish...right??* (KFC)

7. The Big Gulp *freaky oral fixation* (7-11)

8. Happy Ending Sundae *ejaculating on ice cream* (Friendly's)

...and now we're coming up to the part with Denny's menu items. All real and not even trying to be subliminal.

9. Grand Slam *hard aggressive sex* (Denny's)

10. All American Slam *hard aggressive American sex* (Denny's)

11. Lumberback Slam *hard aggressive throw her against a redwood tree and have your way with her sex* (Denny's)

and I swear I'm not making this next one up....check their menu!

12. Moons over My Hammy's *clearly some weird anal sex thingy* (Denny's)

Please add any REAL ones you've seen or see. I'm guessing it's everywhere. And please, if you're ever at Denny's with one of my daughters and they order a Lumberjack Slam make them get something else.

8 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

Jinkies, my good man! I'm not touchin' this one with a ten foot hot dog ("nothing subliminal," eh?). But, upon reflection, there IS a garden of swingin' earthly "delights" (Delights of Three, Four Happiness--THAT one includes the PORK), to be found in Chinese menus. Whether Buddha's Delight is really a threesome involving two swedish stewardesses and/or two orders of General Gao's Chicken gittin' jiggy with the Heavy B's giant, jolly belly I leave to your entirely non-subliminal interpretation. Gotta run--I'm jonesing for a big gulp.

cake said...

Chinese food is way too easy but I can't resist-- Moo Goo Guy Ding.

From our friends in the Carribbean, we get Jerk Meat and the Carribbean Sizzler.

And from the Japanese we get Bent 'o Box (apostrophe added for comedic effect), the Spicy Scallop, and the California Hand Roll.

Ba-da bing!

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

In-N-Out (West Coast burger chain) *I think that one speaks for itself

Double-Double Animal Style (In-N-Out) *Double penetration from behind

Moo Goo Gai Pan (any chinese restaurant) *A cow, spooge, some dude and a frying pan... now that's creative!

cake said...

Oooh, couple of more...

Chick'n Lick'n (Lick's)
Taters 'n Cream (Lick's)
Double Stack (Wendy's)

Sparkle Plenty said...

Rock ON with your California Hand Roll and Moo Goo Gai Pan suggestions! Well done. Sad to say, I'll never be able to eat these tasty items again due to the disturbing mental images they will now summon. Thanks a heap. Well, I'll just head to Dairy Queen (insert Brokeback Mountain joke here) and get myself a Banana Split--Creamy scoops "with whipped topping nestled between a sweet banana." RATS! Is there no end to this franchised kinkitude?

Momenger said...

Calling Dr. Freud....


Great prank done by a pal of mine who went to UCAL Berkley...One night they removed the "G" from one of the local Angus fast food chain resturants and placed it in the middle of the campus. Those wacky crazy college kids...I thought it was genius.

Momenger said...

Calling Dr. Freud....


Great prank done by a pal of mine who went to UCAL Berkley...One night they removed the "G" from one of the local Angus fast food chain resturants and placed it in the middle of the campus. Those wacky crazy college kids...I thought it was genius.

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