Monday, June 19, 2006

::in that creepy voice the kid in the SHINING used:::RED RING

Back when I was a teenager I lived in this apartment complex with a nice swimming pool. Spent most of each summer just hangin' out at the pool, swimming, reading, and whatever else one might do at a pool.

One day the lifeguard informed all of the tenants and people at the pool that beginning that week they would now be putting a chemical in the pool that would detect urine and that if anyone should pee in the pool a bright red ring would encircle them. There were tons of kids that swam in that pool so it was a relief to me and Hoag and all of my friends that these little kids would stop peeing in the pool or we would at least know who was doing it and could ridicule them into stopping. That summer and future summers went on without anyone ever peeing in that pool.

FAST FORWARD 15 YEARS LATER:

HOAG: "Hey, remember that chemical they put in the pool that would put a red ring around someone if they peed in the pool?"

ME: "Yeah?"

HOAG: "It never worked"

11 comments:

MB said...

we got the brand name story at our daycamp.

there was always "wee wee see" in the pool, and the ring was supposed to be purple.

that particular "product" may not have worked, but for some reason, they could always tell when i took a dump in the pool.

cake said...

Forget peeing...I'm surprised neither of you did tried that disgusting trick where you drop an O'Henry bar in the pool.

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

What is wrong with people? I just had a guy come into the office, wanting to buy our program, and here's how our conversation went:

Him: So, how long have you guys been here? You used to be in Encino right?

Me: I guess so sir. I came on board after the move.

Him: So they've been in this office since???

Me: I honestly couldn't tell you.

WTF???

cake said...

He probably pees in pools.

stuckwithacomb said...

...from the diving board

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I think you did that. Once.

Clinky said...

When I was a kid there was a sign at the pool:

"Welcome to our Ool.
Notice that there is
no P in it.
Please try to keep it
that way."

clinky's clone said...

"It's kill or be kicked."

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

What kind of a douchebag uses the word BAMBOOZLE? This kind: I just had a caller state "Your company is trying to bamboozle me!!!" and went on to complain about our product... I wanted to ask him if he was a cartoon character from the 20's and if he shook his fist in the air as he said BAMBOOZLE!

cake said...

The kind of douchebag who pees off the diving board... I thought we established that earlier today.

Momenger said...

You know how people have those signs that say "I don't swim in your toilet so don't pee in my pool? Or something like that.

Clever. Because I know so many people who've said to me "Man, that toilet looks so inviting. I just want to take one quick dip. Do you think anyone would notice?"