A few years ago monkeys were all the rage. Folks adored them. And then somehow pirates became the new monkeys and everyone just adored pirates.
And today? Well, today it seems that bears are the new pirates. Folks are just diggin' on the brown. We love 'em. Colbert loves 'em. Letterman loves 'em. Hoag loves 'em. Bears are where it's at. They're the happening mammal.
But you know what? In a year or two something is gonna be the new bear. Hard to believe that now...but it's gonna happen. Whoever thought monkeys and pirates would be out?
I think we should start preparing now...
Friday, October 13, 2006
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How about a one-legged monkey with an eye patch eating salmon?
It will revert to midgets. Everything is cyclicle.
Stingrays.
The Claifornia Raisins? Come on man, I need those residuals in heaven
Well if that's how we're voting I'd go for "nougat". Universally accepted as one of the most fun words to say in the english language. Try it; nougat.
The Endangered White Male (who is under constant attack from bears, monkeys, stingrays and pirates.)
-- Lamont Cranston, channeling Helen Chenoweth
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
Diggin on the brown
1) Cute little old ladies. You THOUGHT they broke big during the Wendy's and "I've fallen and I can't get up" ad campaigns. No: They're due to EXPLODE in '08. Everyone will have a tiny, plastic, glow-in-the-dark little old lady on their key chains. (Great accessories, too--dentures, fun flasks of geritol, you name it.)
2) Animated frito corn chips. Because they taste so damn good. And they can sing better than those California Raisins.
3) Teamsters. Because they're a lot like bears. And pirates. And monkeys. All in one big, burly, growly, knuckle-walkin', cigar-smoking package.
4) Whiny guys dressed up like French noblemen in fancy short britches and long, curly powdered wigs. Everyone will have a bobble-head one on the back ledge of the car.
5) Raccoons--charming little, fish-poaching bandits! Think about it--we've had adorable weasels and gekkos and squirrels and monkeys. 2009 is the Year of the Raccoon.
Oh My God Nooprah,
You don't know who Helen Chenoweth is????
She's that lady who did that stuff with something important a long time ago!
And Sparkle, I vote for the bobble-head Fops. I want one immediately, in fact.
And the next person who corrects my spelling....bad things WILL happen to you.
I wanna cross between a bear and a monkey for a pet.
Well, actually, I want it with me right now...cuz where I'm at right now (trade show)? A bearmonkey would be VERY entertaining set loose in the crowd....
A spiderbear would be even more amusing.
And Helen Chenoweth is worth the google.
And... NoOprah, I'd be more surprised if you DIDN'T know who she was. You being a cosmopolitan politico-type.
--Lamont Cranston
I have bearandmonkaphobia....you're freakin' me out!
Bemisdown: Yaaayyy! Bobble-head fops all around!
Cakey: What's this hybrid critter's name? A monkear? A bearkey?
>>>Helen Chenoweth<<<
Even after a google I still don't know who she is. Never ever once heard of her.
Though I'm glad she's dead.
Luther Chenoweth's going to kick you a$$ for that wisecrack, bud. I'd go into hiding.
A quote about Helen Chenoweth:
"She never met an endangered species she didn't want to eat."
Great article on her:
http://outside.away.com/outside/magazine/1198/9811chenoweth.html
(or at least the first two or three paragraphs...
Dear Bostongraf,
At this time, I have zero cents to pitch in re: La Chenoweth. So, I'll briefly hijack nooprah again:
Where is the "tirade against humans" that you promised your faithful blog readers? I feel like yer a tickin' time bomb, man. Unburden yourself! Also: Why does your other blog get such weird and random comments?
Sincerely,
Sparkle Chenoweth
My other blog??
Whatcho talkin' about, Chenoweth??
Sparkle,
Unfortunately, after stating that I was building a tirade against humans, I went to the bar. The truly unfortunate part was that I had a good time, and met some new people....which is very rare at this bar that I hang out at quite frequently.
The new people were actually "good people". And you know how those damn "good people" can keep a mean tirade down.
But worry not! That was more than a couple of days ago, and the tirade is a boiling again! Why, just the other day, I had someone ask for me help with their computer! Very little increases my disdain for humans more than people that don't know what the heck their doing with a computer...
Thank you for concern at my good mood.
-graf
Aslong as the bears don't ruin my shrubberies, I'm ok with them.
bostongraf,
I keep getting all of these popups....
OOOPS! Sorry! I don't want to encourage a potential mass murderer.
You spelled oooops wrong.
Be prepared for bad things to happen to you now Mr. No.
Cake, I'm at a trade show too. I would pay good money for a bearmonkey.
A hungry, grumpy bearmonkey.
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