Friday, March 16, 2007

As we speak

A certain 'friend' of mine is coming north. I don't know where he is. I don't know when he'll arrive.

But he's coming.

Soon.

I know this. I fear this. I hate this.

The unknowing.

He is coming. I hate him.

I want him to stay where he is and hang with someone else.

But he's coming and there aint a damn thing I can do about it.

Those of you reading this blog for a long time know who I'm talking about. You know what is about to happen. The horror. The horror.

He's coming. The bastard is coming.

In what guise will he appear this time?

Today's snow brings me no comfort. He's coming. He is a bastard and he is coming.

For me. And me only. This I know.

I can't stop him. I can't reason with him. I can only wait. With one eye open.

I hate him.

Yet he still comes for me.

26 comments:

bacon ace said...

Cousin Saul?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Good guess...but wrong.

I certainly don't fear that little pansy....

(the answer is in the archives)

cousin saul said...

HEY HEY! Knock that off!

cousin saul said...

Why I oughta!!!!!!

cake said...

"I can only wait. With one eye open."

Why not play it safe and keep both eyes open?

Anonymous said...

is it Hoagy?

Spud said...

Is it King of the douchebag birds

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Bingo.

He'll be here in a couple of weeks

cake said...

Goddamnit, first I miss the raccoon and then the bird reference.

What's wrong with me this week? Maybe I have an undiagnosed head injury!

JET said...

I had no idea who you were talking about, but you still crack me up.

Gazongalicious said...

Sounds to me like you are expecting your Aunt Flo...

Aunt Flo said...

I never travel North, only South.

KotDB said...

I'm gonna be a little late...

Queen of the DB Birds said...

He's done nothing but talk about you all winter-- I think he really missed you. I'm really glad the feeling is mutual, he'll be so pleased to hear it!

Bella said...

Lamont,

I wasn't scared off just yet,I am still reading with bemusement and came for my gin soaked scones but you are too sparing with the gin and too generous with the scone.

I also need to admit that I now read Cake's blogg too. Brilliant stuff.
I must go now and be english and drink tea and eat my cucumber sandwhiches. It's what we do.

Anonymous said...

Bella Emberg:

And whinge. You people whinge.

I was all set to be all welcome-backing and stuff -- I even put the extra "u" in "humo(u)r" when I asked if you were okay -- but you've crossed a line.

Nobody -- but NOBODY -- accuses me of being stingy with the gin. That is a base libel, up with which I shall not put.

You're on notice.

-- Lamont Cranston

P.S. Welcome back.

Sympathy for the Harp Seal said...

WAYNE? Is it WAYNE? It's either Wayne or Death. Perhaps the two are synonymous...

Bella said...

I hope you don't sue me for libel. I only have 10p down the back of a sofa and some crumbs the dog left behind.

Lovely scones though. Lovely. If that helps.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Sympathy for the Harp Seal,

If you read other folks posts you'll see that Spud got it on the 7th post.

If you just stared at yourself in the mirror all day you might have missed it.

cake said...

Based on the tone of NoOprah's comment, I'm guessing the King of the Douchebag Birds arrived early this morning...

Harp Seal Clubbing 10p! said...

Based on an intensive CSI-like analysis of other folks' posts, I note that Bella and Lamont make an adorable couple--kinda the blog world's Nick and Nora. Spud is my hero. I tried to Nancydrew the archives, but it's dusty in there, and I bumped my head on the low-hanging sarcasm. Must return to mirror now, check on bruises, gaze longingly into my eyes...

Anonymous said...

Bella and I prefer to think of ourselves as George and Martha from "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf".

I ain't no William Powell. But thanks for the thought. Bella: Think you could pull off a convincing Myrna Loy? Or Elizabeth Taylor?

-- Lamont Cranston

Anonymous said...

Bella and I prefer to think of ourselves as George and Martha from "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf".

I ain't no William Powell. But thanks for the thought. Bella: Think you could pull off a convincing Myrna Loy? Or Elizabeth Taylor?

-- Lamont Cranston

Anonymous said...

Have to watch those gin references: They WILL repeat on you.

-- LC

cake said...

Ick, gin...::spits::

Gazongalicious said...

..wipes up spit from Cake's Gin fest....