Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Segway

Now that the Segway has taken over in just about every facet of our lives I've heard that the whole Boston area is planning on building elevated roads just for the use of Segways. You heard me...elevated roads. For Segways.

They're driving me nuts! Just walking down the street for a cup of coffee and WHIZZ go 6 or 7 Segways almost forcing me off the sidewalk. Douchebags on Segways.

The mailmen WHZZZZZZ! "Ewwww, look at me delivering mail on my Segway....I'm cool!"

And all the police on their Segway patrols. WHZZZZZZZZ.

I saw a team of firemen rushing to a fire on their specially made Segways with giant ladders attached.

My kids complain about clogged hallways in school with everyone on their Segways.

I mean let's be honest...we all knew the Segway was gonna be HUGE and change our lives, but did we really have any idea that it would take over this big?

Wifey now uses hers to go grocery shopping (she's got the Mom model with the giant basket in back)

The Segway basketball leagues sprouting up everywhere! And how about those wheelchair Segway Leagues? Guys in wheelchairs on their specially made Segways? It's crazy I tell ya. Crazy.

Rumor has it that Manny Ramirez is in negotiations with Major League Baseball to use a Segway in left field.

Me and Hoag now drive our two station Segway for Buddy Nite (the Blonde sits in the basket in the back.)

At first I just thought it was a fad. But it aint. The Segway has changed our lives and it's here to stay.

And I'm not sure I like it.

8 comments:

cake said...

I work in a huge office complex; we have to use Segways to get from one side to the other but they aren't licensed for outside use. Mine has a little clipboard on it to hold my files...it's pretty cool.

maddog said...

I don't know if you've seen the preview for the upcoming Fantastic Four movie, but I swear the Surfer isn't flying around on his board.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I made a special urinal for my Segway. I can whiz while I whizzzz.

maddog said...

This does however explain the rumor that Dean Kamen makes a guest appearance as Galactus.

cake said...

NoOprah:

I guess that's better than a diaper.

rat said...

I'm too small for a Segway...damn bigoted Segway makers.

Tex said...

They've been doing Segway tours of Austin forever!! dumbest asslooking machines I ever seen

lenachoika said...

There's advantage #2 of living on Cape:never saw one in real life. But I am sure some annoying tourist ... will bring one down sooner or later