Friday, March 09, 2007

When you hang out with a guy named Hoagy

It's very bizarre.

You'll be having a deep discussion about Iraq or Bill Clinton or something and the Hoag will always somehow work in things like:

"Imagine if bears were in charge of the military?"

or

"Would it have been a scandal if Bill Clinton was not having sex with bears instead of Monica Lewinsky?"

Or sometimes I'll be mentioning maybe American Idol and Hoag will say "Imagine if they did Animal Idol and bears sang and stuff?"

Or if I'm in the market for a new car Hoag will say crap like 'Imagine if bears drove cars....I wonder what kind they would buy....would they get the extended warranties?"

Or at a funeral he'll say junk like "Imagine how big the casket would be if she was a Grizzly."

Why do I even hang with such an odd guy?

If he was a bear would I still hang out with him?

23 comments:

Lois Lane said...

I don't watch American Idol, but I'd totally watch "Animal Idol." That would rock.

Gentle Ben said...

1) Imagine if squirrels were bears and pigeons were bears. Damn.
2) If there are midget horses, why aren't there midget bears? I want me a midget bear, and I want to dress him like Mr. Peanut.
3) If you hang out with Hoagy, it it possible that you are, in fact, a bear. Hibernating lately? Flippy-floppy fresh fish munchies?
4) What if Lassie were a bear? Rescues Timmy from a well. Pauses. Reflects. Mauls Timmy and shares remains with hungry cubs.
5) Would fictitious bears and real bears get along? Or would Yogi and Winnie get their asses kicked?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Imagine if bears wrote and sang Beatle songs?

1. Bees Bees Me.

2. Blackbear

3. I Am The Grizzly

4. I Wanna Be Your Bear

5. Got To get You Into My Den

6. Ob-Bla-De, Ob-La- RRRRROOOOOOAR!!

7. I wanna hold your paw.

8. Twist and Growl

cake said...

Awww, you guys are soooo cute.

cake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cake said...

Hmm?

What if Hitler Was A Bear said...

Gentle Ben digs "Got to Get You Into My Den" the most. Yet, he urges you to ponder the zaniness that would ensue if bears wrote and sang Stones songs.

1. Yogis Little Helper

2. 19th Nervous Ranger

3. Jumpin' Jack Fish

4. Paint It Kodiak

5. Grizzly Tuesday

6. Sympathy for the Harp Seal

7. Gimme Salmon

8. Midnight Polar

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Paint it Brown

Street Fightin' Bear

Waitin' on a Bruin

Grizzly Shelter

Beast of Bear-den

stuckwithacomb said...

Sympathy for the Harp Seal ?

SYMPATHY FOR THE HARP SEAL ??

Whaddya Want? I'm a Bear said...

Yeah, that one sucked. But, you gotta admit, it can't be fun to be eaten by a polar bear. Even I have sympathy for the Dondi-eyed little polar-snacks.

Warm regards,
Gentle Ben

Anonymous said...

Just My Hibernation (runnin' away with me)

Charlie is my darling said...

As Bears Go By

It's Only Rocks and Dirt (but I like it)

Loving Cub

Under My Paw

mrs. bacon ace said...

Did anyone else used to watch Grizzly Adams? That guy was such a douche!!

(my grandmother lived with us and she used to watch it EVERY Sunday)

Anonymous said...

Grizzly Adams WAS NOT A DOUCHE!

Maybe it was grand-ma-ma that was the douche.

Anonymous said...

Grizzly Adams WAS NOT A DOUCHE!

Maybe it was grand-ma-ma that was the douche.

cake said...

(After reading carefully to make sure these are original...)

- Fancybear Blues
- Honky Tonk Sows
- Let's Spend the Winter Together
- This Den is Empty

stuckwithacomb said...

Bruin Sugar

stuckwithacomb said...

19th Nervous Campground

bacon ace said...

Wild Ursine

Anonymous said...

Have You Seen Your Dominant Family Member Baby, Standing In The Shadows?

Shaved Bear said...

She's so Cold

Anonymous said...

Midnight Growler

Yellowstone Shuffle

Bearish Cub

Anonymous said...

Cocksucker Baloo (s)