Thursday, May 17, 2007

I won't be fooled again.

Every day I bring my lunch to work. A sandwich and a snack.

Today I grabbed a bag of Cheese Nips that proudly proclaims '100 Calorie Packs'

I didn't think much about it until about 5 minutes ago when I ate it and realized that 100 calories in a snack is not a snack at all.

It's stupid.

People all over America are gonna fool themselves into thinking they'll lose weight by eating these '100 Calorie packs'.

The problem?

We're gonna end up eating 10-15 of these 100 calorie packs each day.

Why?

BECAUSE 100 CALORIES AINT ENOUGH FOR A FREAKIN' SNACK FOOD YOU NABISCO MORONS!

I hate you and hope you die.

Hopefully by starvation.

100 calorie packs. Jerks.

17 comments:

bostongraf said...

Today I am eating lunch from Elliot's Hot Dog stand. I ordered a Kraut Dog (in honor of NoOprah), and a Bacon Cheese Dog (in honor of Bacon Ace, of course).

100 calories. Jerks.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Just saying the WORDS 'hot dog stand' is 100 calories.

I want hot dogs! From DAIRY JOY on Route 117!

ex mrs. bacon ace said...

Only retards eat Cheese Nips. The rest of us eat Cheez-its. Retard.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

The Cheese Nips were in the cupboard, Future Mrs Hoagy.

Of course Cheez-its are better...and they aint stupid enough to do 100 calorie packs.

bacon ace said...

Wait, then why on Earth would you have Cheese nips in your house if you know that Cheez-Its are the far superior snack?

Even my cat knows Cheez-Its rock. Are you dumber than my cat?

bacon ace said...

Do you also have Hydrox cookies in that cupboard? You know, the retarded half cousins of the god sent oreos.

bostongraf said...

Review of Elliot's hot Dog stand:

The Bacon Cheese Dog was excellent. Two full strips of bacon, placed on top of the hot dog. The cheese was under the hot dog. I was concerned that there would not be enough cheee, but I it was only at one end that it was lacking. Excellent dog. Good bacon. Acceptable cheese.

The Kraut Dog was also excellent. Pretty simple, but a key was that the kraut was not cold. It was an appropriate temperature as to not detract from the hot dog and nicely soggied bun.

Fries were good consistency and temperature, but needed salt.

cake said...

A co-worker just came back with McDonalds for lunch and she's eating it at her desk...I hate her.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Mrs IANO does the shopping in my house.

I eat what's there.

(I'll have "talk" with her this weekend about the nips)

cake said...

"nicely soggied bun"

This is my favourite sentence of the day so far!

(Though I am disappointed that there was nothing in Bostongraf's meal in honour of ME. Couldn't you find any pastry for dessert?)

bacon ace said...

Uh oh. Don't mention my name in this converstaion with her because...well..you know.

bostongraf said...

Well, they do have a tuna sandwich in honor of Bemis.

No pastries of any sort. But they do have Sweet Potato Fries! Would that work for you, Cake?

It has been very difficult to resist suggesting that the Trailer Dog could be ordered in honor of somebody, but I couldn't decide who I wanted to insult...So I'll say Britney Spears.

cake said...

Bostongraf:

Sweet potato fries?! Two thumbs way up!

(I'm HUNGRY now. Stupid IANO!)

ex mrs. bacon ace said...

Safeco Field in Seattle has the best hot dogs. Hot Links topped with chopped bbq brisket. meat used as a condiment. awesome. i wish i was there right now eating one.

--steve cohen said...

I like the 100 Calorie packs of HOSTESS MINI CUPCAKES, especially when I eat three of 'em!!!

--steve cohen said...

Sadly, I do not think HYDROX cookies exist any longer, at least, I have not seen any in years, and I prefer them to OREOs, I like the taste of the filling more, and, besides, HYDROX came first!!!

Meglauver said...

Finally, someone else understands my disdain for the 100 calorie "snack" pack. Thanks for the laugh; your posts are most entertaining.