Tuesday, July 17, 2007

It's my phone number. It's what you asked for.

I'm filling out this online order the other day and 'they' asked for my phone number.

So I typed in my phone number. 1-111-111-1111. 1 followed by area code followed by 7 digit number. 11 numbers total. You know....a phone number.

So after I get done filling out this long and tedious order,the online form pops back up telling me my phone number is incorrect.

Well, guess what? They are incorrect. I typed in the correct number the first time, but I typed it in this time leaving out the first 1. For no real reason.

Bingo!

So now my correct phone number is 111 (area code) 111-1111 (the the 7 digit 'regular number')

Now if you dial that 111-111-1111 the operator comes on and says you need to dial a one before the number.

YOU MEAN MY FUCKING 11 NOT 10 DIGIT PHONE NUMBER YOU FUCKING AUTOMATED ONLINE DOUCEBAG ORDERFORM!!!???

Spell it out for us retards okay? Cuz when someone asks for my phone number I should read their brainac like mind and leave out one digit. Because when someone asks for your phone number what they REALLY want is a partial phone number.

I hate you Verizon! And your bitch cousins, Cingular and AT &T.

(Though I feel kinda sorry for Sprint and Nextel)

And next time those dicks ask where I live I'm just gonna type in America. Cuz that's probably what they meant, correct?

55 comments:

John, Paul, George and Ringo said...

Number 9, number 9....

bacon ace said...

Whoa decaf there buddy.

broadway chorus girl said...

One, singular sensation, every little step he takes..

Ma Bell said...

Your phone number is ten digits. Depending on your location and the type of phone being used, you may be required to initialize your phone call with a preceding 1, or even 000-1 if it is international.

When you look at your phone bill, is there a preceding 1? Or is it a ten digit number?

Grandma said...

Gosh, a little cranky today, aren't we?

Irrationally angered gentleman said...

Sheesh, even I know it's 10 digits and wouldn't complain.

Cell Phone said...

You don't need eleven digits if you use me!
Upgrade! Upgrade! Upgrade!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

It aint ten digits. If it was ten digits I wouldn't need the goddamn at the beginning.. Now would I?

I'm now actually praying that all phone company employees die a horrible death.

Petty?

Maybe.

Uppity Logical Man said...

By your logic, your phone number changed as soon as you were required to dial the area code for all local calls.

When, in fact, it is simply the method with which you dialed that changed, isn't it?

Hmmm....yes, I do believe it is!

dr. feelgood said...

Did you run out of valium again?

the one said...

I just want to be loved. Needed. I want to be a part of a family of numbers. I'm sick of just being the scout number.

Hold me.

Clinky said...

"Steve's Phone Number" is an anagram for "Bushes Penmen Voter"

Jenny said...

Please stop calling me.

Verizon Vicki said...

At the tone, please enter your 15 digit password. Then, pat your tummy and spin around. Put your left foot in and your left foot out. That's what it's all about.

Anonymous said...

We're sorry. All rant representatives are busy at the moment. Your rant is very important to us. Please continue to hold, and your rant will be answered in the order in which it was received.

Myrna "Certainly, Sir!" Loy

cake said...

We don't have to dial the "1" before a local area code here...but maybe we're just superior to you folks.

::sticks nose in air::

AT&T said...

We were in the Star Wars movie series...ya gotta love the AT&Ts that they had on Hoth!

What?

Oh, never mind.

B-Boys said...

Your telecommunication skills appear to be ailling. Perhaps even sick!

Yes, I believe you have the Ill Communication.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

If the Beatles wrote about phones:

I Wanna Put You on Hold.

When I'm *64

Rocky Rongnumber

ex mrs bacon ace said...

another Beatles song about phones:

All You Need Is Ten (digits)

Lois Lane said...

If the Rolling Stones wrote about phones:

Dial Me Up

(I Can't Get No) Dial Tone

Jumpin' Jack Flash (no edit needed)

ex mrs bacon ace said...

While My Call-Waiting Gently Beeps

Kevin Mitnick said...

No no no...

We're not letting him off that easy! He's just trying to distract us with the "songs game"! Back to pointing out his lunacy, people! Come on! We've got him cornered on this one!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Imagine if the Beatles sang about Kevin Mitnick-

All You Need Is Kevin

Hey Kevin.

The Fool on the Kevin.

Kevin's Submarine

Crap...even the Beatles game doesn't cheer me up...stupid 10 digit phone numbers.

Cingular Cindy said...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Digit.

Digit who?

Digit hear the one about the phone number that made NoOprah go loco?

Aquaman said...

Underwater, no one can hear you dial...

Anonymous said...

Please continue to hold. Due to an unusually high number of ranters, all representatives are busy. Did we mention that your call is very important to us? Oh, yes. Yes, it is. More than life itself, really. So, for the love of god, man, please continue to hold. A representative will be with you shortly. Until then, please enjoy this glockenspiel rendition of Stairway to Heaven.

Myrna "411" Loy

cake said...

"I'm now actually praying that all phone company employees die a horrible death."

An AT&T truck carrying employees on the way to a company picnic just collided with a Verizon van, which then spun out of control and side-swiped a Cingular employee, her Nextel employee husband, and their baby (who was holding an iPhone)...everyone was killed horribly.

I hope you're happy.

phreak said...

Of course, the only reason you have to dial the 1 is when dialing long distance. Basically just letting the phone co know that they can charge you for that call. Which is why you don't need the 1 when using a cell phone.

But if you would prefer that they don't provide any way for you to know when they are charging you, then you should just give them a call.

cake said...

"Which is why you don't need the 1 when using a cell phone."

If I don't add the "1" before a long distance cell call, I get a cranky computer voice insisting that I need to add it...and then the call goes through anyways.

(My cell provider might just be phreaky too.)

rat said...

...then you should just give them a call.

But should he add the "1" or not!?!

maddog said...

I have AT&T phones in my house. And, I have caller id. When a call comes in, it saves it as a nine digit number. If I hit redial, it won't go through as it states I have to dial a 1 first. Useless.......

One said...

::sob::

Why does everyone hate dialing me so much?

I hate being the loneliest number.

three dog night said...

Live with it #1.

bacon ace said...

That's why voice dialing is the best superpower.

Number 6 said...

I am not a number, I'm a free man!

What? #1?

Oh, wrong number, never mind... *hangs up*

Claw said...

This whole phone thing is stuck in my 1-craw.

CRAW...not 1-Craw!

U2's One said...

Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?

Is that why you don't want to dial me?

Chinese guy said...

Ruts rong rith rialing rumber run first?

angry villagers with torches said...

YEAH!! Let's storm Castle Verizonstein!

666 said...

Dial me. I dare you.

bostongraf said...

It doesn't look like NoOprah has a problem with dialing the one. I think it's that he thinks that the one means he has an 11 digit phone number instead of 10.

Don't feel lonely, poor number 1. NoOprah is trying to include you, but the system is keeping you down.

Unfortunately, you have a guy like NoOprah fighting for you, so it's not going to get very far...

Anonymous said...

I just noticed you called an orderform a douchebag.

Eww.

sympathy for the tard said...

Now now now, let's not pick on poor NoOprah too much.

He can't help being a tard.

Anonymous said...

Okaaaaay. I think I've figured this all out. Here's your problem, Morty: You've got this weird phone number that's all ones--like, 11 ones. Who's got a phone number with 11 ones? Get yo'self some real numbers, boy. Then you'll be all fixed up. Tip: Don't go for all twos or all threes either. Ain't gonna get you nowhere good--yes, you might play a mournful, monotonal little song on your phone, but that's about it.

Myrna "Codebreaker" Loy

mr. t said...

I pity the foo' who can't understand a simple phone number!

captain kirk said...

#1 was the best movie.

adolph said...

If I was in charge, there'd be nein numbers in a phone number.

the count said...

1, 1, 1 irrationally crazed man! *thunder crashes and lightning flashes*

Blondie said...

Call Me (but dial a 1 first)

Lennon said...

::sings:: You know my name, look up the number, you know my naaaame, look up the number...

(But remember to add a 1 first!)

kermit said...

At least now the One knows what it's like to be green.

One Ring said...

I rule them all, y'know.

boo-hoo-hoo said...

"I have trouble with phone numbers, poor me..."

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