Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Pancakes save marriage!

Why I've never divorced my wife:

Came home last night to two large stacks of buttermilk pancakes.

And butter. (the butter wasn't in two large stacks)

And milk (the milk wasn't in stacks either)

And for all you women trying to salvage your marriage, you can't just make pancakes everyday and expect him to stick around.

The key to marriage saving pancakes is that they only show up every six weeks or so.

Or maybe every five weeks.

14 comments:

cake said...

Where do waffles fit into the scheme of a marriage?

Lois Lane said...

The pancake theory is dead on, especially with a heaping side of bacon.

I think waffles only work in Canada and Puerto Rico.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Waffles are for folks on their second or third marriages.

I read it on Wikipedia. Or was it the Waffle Times?

bacon ace said...

"especially with a heaping side of bacon."

*sigh* Bacon, is there anything it can't do?

Anonymous said...

1) In parts of Canada, only french toast works.
2) Home fries never hurt due to their subliminal, marriage-strengthening name.
3) Bacon Ace: Yes. Bacon should not be used to remove grease stains. I am sorry.

Myrna "Only Real Maple Syrup, Please" Loy

bacon ace said...

"3) Bacon Ace: Yes. Bacon should not be used to remove grease stains. I am sorry."

Fight fire with fire I always say. (I never say that)

Anonymous said...

Excellent point, Mr. Ace. But, please--don't fight fire with bacon. Cover the pan, apply baking soda, activate extinguisher, stop drop and roll, or cry out hoarsely for Mrs. Bacon Ace. Let's be careful out there.
Myrna "Safety First" Loy

cake said...

"1) In parts of Canada, only french toast works."

Good point. Though in parts of Canada, if you serve french toast...it's as good as filing for divorce.

Pancake Ace said...

Pancakes are love. They're also excellent for soaking up grease stains.

breakfast food lover said...

I soooo want to edit the Wikipedia waffle and pancake pages to include a reference to the information in this blog...

not spud said...

Where do potato pancakes fit in??

le ex mrs. bacon ace said...

do crepes count?

Anonymous said...

And what about blintzes?

Anonymous said...

Waitaminute, folks...

Before we get all frantic here...

These rules do not, of course, apply to "dinner pancakes," which are stuffed with pastrami and asparagus and have a light mustard sauce as a topping. Those will not save a marriage. They are an abomination.

On the other hand, being greeted by someone in a bustier bearing a plate of banana-chocolate-chip pancakes is reason not only to keep right on with the matrimonial bliss, but to immediately take her to Las Vegas, renew your vows, and present her with a very nice strand of diamonds to boot.

Mmm, banana-chocolate-chip pancakes.

-- Lamont "Slathered" Cranston