Friday, July 27, 2007

Still more things that weren't quite blog worthy

The following items didn't quite have enough ooomph for an entire blog devoted to them.

1. This morning I saw one of my favorite customers outside of an eye doctors place....I rolled down my window and yelled out at him: "Hey you big sissy...how are ya?" he turned around and I realized it wasn't one of my customers. I never saw him before. I'm guessing he was a sissy.

2. The mensa man that named Planet Earth, Planet Earth.. All of the other planets have cool names....Saturn! Mercury! Jupiter! etc....but this genius named the greatest of the planets after dirt. Planet Dirt. I'm guessing he was a sissy.

3. The waitress that ALMOST took a bribe from me and Hoag last night for some artwork on the wall of a restaurant. Had she sold us the art I would have had a story. And some cool art. But she was a sissy and didn't go thru with the deal.

4. About a year ago I did a blog about losers who BUY ringtones for their cell phones. Well, guess what? I bought a ringtone for my cell phone. I'm COOL! LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME WITH MY CLEVER RINGTONE! $2.99 and I'm cool. I'm probably really a sissy. With a cool ring tone. Call me.

5. I'm reading a book and in it it tells what the 'perfect' bowel movement should look like. The book aint the new Harry Potter. That's for sissies.

6. I came home last night and went upstairs and Wifey was sound asleep but with the Red Sox on the TV. I wonder which one of her lovers was their before I got home? Probably the sissy.

7. I think I tricked you all....I just did a blog about sissies. And I only mentioned Hoagy once.

16 comments:

bostongraf said...

Calling someone a sissy is just pussying out of calling someone a pussy.

Pussy.

(I didn't contribute to the racist candy day, so I'm making up for it with this one! Yeah...that's the ticket.)

Lois Lane said...

So what was the ringtone, sissy boy?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

The theme to Curb Your Enthusiasm.

cool, huh?

cake said...

You mentioned Hoag twice.

Sissy.

cake said...

p.s.

I wonder how fast that sissy ringtone will start to annoy him.

I think whoever has his cell phone number should test it out and report back...

moe "simon metz" berg said...

thank you for not spoiling the book on the perfect bowel movement. i don't want to know how it ends just yet.

spoilers r us said...

Dear Moe,

It's quite predictable, really... it ends with a flush.

Anonymous said...

How did you manage to mention Hoagy twice, and St. Francis of A-Sissy not at all?

-- Lamont "I'd get a ringtone but I don't have a cell phone" Cranston

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I wish I had a ringtone for my TV.

cake said...

I'm sure if you hint around enough, someone will buy you a little bell you can put on top of the tv...would that be close enough?

bostongraf said...

You just need a second cell phone, so you can place it on top of your tv and call it while you are watching TV...

ahh...

Pointless redundancy. How wonderful.

Anonymous said...

I have the Deadwood theme as a ringtone on my orange juice cans and string. But, more importantly, Simpsons Movie, Simpsons Movie! Simpsons MOVIE! SIMPSONS movie!
Myrna "SIMPSONS MOVIE!" Loy

P.S. There's a Society for the Preservation of Preserving Pointless Redundancy (i.e., Pointless Redundancy).

bureaucratic drone said...

Pointless redundancy.

That’s my employer’s slogan! It’s like you work here. Spooky.

Anonymous said...

If I had orange juice cans and string, I'd have a ringtone of Anita Bryant telling me phone calls aren't for breakfast anymore.

And... the Simpsons movie has been getting rave reviews. Hooray! May Matt Groening's coffers overflow!

-- Lamont "D'oh!" Cranston

cake said...

Instead of going to see the Simpsons movie tonight, I sat watched tv and then went online and checked e-mail.

I'm officially a sissy.

But at least I'm not alone! Hi Lamont! ::waves::

Anonymous said...

Hmm, no blog today, huh. Whatta pansy.