Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The baby Jesus and his first Halloween

From the story in the bible, Boris:3:14, it mentions the baby Jesus (they were still callin' him baby Jesus even though he was now 7 years old) went out for his first Halloween dressed as The Frankincense Monster and he sadly came home with a bag filled only with myrrh.

The next year he would dress up as Cowboy and get a bag of gold.

The point of the story?

Ya dress up like Frankincense, ya get myrrh. Dress up like a Cowboy, and ya get gold.

It's true. I read it in the bible. Elvira 36D:

20 comments:

Lois Lane said...

Yeah! I *knew* cowgirl was a better choice than Mary Magdalene for my costume this year.

Thanks for the candy, Mister NoOprah!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Thank Cake...notice the candy is 'Canadian'?

cake said...

And therefore superior, of course.

Where's my damn candy?? I'm in costume!

Lois Lane said...

Canadian, eh? I thought I noticed a subtle maple undertone, which was pleasant. The hint of bacon was a bit distubring, though.

cake said...

Oh gawd, Lois...you said the "b" word. You'll send Bacon Ace stampeding to the shop to get some! I pity whoever gets in his way...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Reese's Bacon Cups.

cake said...

Reese Eggs and Bacon Cups might be better.

Anonymous said...

Hickory-smoke-cured Mallomars.

At 33, Jesus went out trick or treating as Bob Vila. The results were... unfortunate.

-- Lamont "I'm Already Going To Hell, What Do I Care?" Cranston

Sparkle Plenty said...

But, what of Cormanesians 3:1 that saith that Baby Jesus went out for his first Halloween dressed as a Crab Monster, spent the night dodging Philistines armed with melted butter, and got shot with a bb gun by mean ol' Mr. Herod who wanted the kids to stay the heck off his lawn*?

*Revenge was sweet--verily, it took Mr. Herod years to get all of those loaves and fishes out of the maple tree in the front yard!

baby jesus said...

I better not get any peanuts or homemade treats or I'm telling my dad on you!

baby jesus said...

AND NO GODDAMN APPLES!

baby jesus said...

And you can shove those little cheap Halloween lollipops up [censored], too!

Anonymous said...

When baby Jesus says "goddamn," it carries some serious ecumenical weight.

-- Lamont "Whatever Happened To Jesus's Foreskin?" Cranston

the real baby jesus said...

Goo-goo, ga-ga!

the real baby jesus said...

Goo-goo, ga-ga!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

The real baby Jesus repeats himself because he's stupid.

Stupid baby Jesus, stupid.

bacon ace said...

"Reese's Bacon Cups"

::passes out::

::wakes up hours later::

Whoah, now those would go in the godly candy pile.

the real baby jesus said...

IANO called me stupid! IANO called me stupid! I'm telling Dad! I'm telling Dad!

Jayne said...

Chocks away!!!!

Oh hang on.. wrong post.

Redbeard76 said...

Just not the Dallas Cowboys. Blech.