So I'm driving to work this morning and I notice one of those metal Jesus Fish on the back of a car. I've been seeing those for years. (and those 'clever' folk with the Darwin Fish with the little feet....Hey tard! Fish aint got feet!)
But anyhow I realize that I have NO CLUE what the Jesus Fish means. None. I suppose I could google 'Jesus Fish' but that would kinda take the fun out of it, yes? And googlin' Jesus just seems kinda wrong. I doubt he would have liked being googled (even by a Catholic priest)
So what does the Jesus Fish mean?
1. Jesus smelled like fish? Wouldn't it be funnier just to have a bumber sticker that says "Jesus smells like fish" than a Jesus Fish?....so no. I'm guessing Jesus did NOT smell like fish.
2. Maybe Jesus was a fisherman. Can't ya just picture him side by side with Quint, chummin' for a great white shark or something? Maybe in a River That Runs Through It wearing hip waders? Nah....Jesus was a carpenter (though he wore a dress and not carpenter pants)....so no on Jesus as a fisherman.
3. Maybe Jesus was there when Moses farted in the Red Sea and killed all the fish...Jesus picked them up and brought them into town to all the Virgin Mary's and stuff? Nah. That's just a made up story.
4. Maybe it was Jesus that turned the wine into fish? But who would have drank fishy tasting wine? So that's stupid.
5. Maybe Jesus looked like a fish kinda like The Incredible Mr. Limpet. This is a good possibility. Don Knotts as The Christ. Nah.....crazy talk.
6. Maybe Jesus just had a pet goldfish or something....it's the lost chapter in the bible: Goldy 3:14 or something. Yup. That's it. Jesus had a pet goldfish. And folks like to celebrate Goldy The Jesus Fish on the back of their cars. Because it gets them in heaven.