Thursday, October 18, 2007

Shut up Ellen!

So Ellen DeGeneras adopts a small dog from some animal rescue league or something. She signs a contract. After a month or so she decides she can't care for said puppy so she gives it to her hairdresser.

The hairdresser has two children under the age of 12. The animal rescue place doesn't give or allow their small dogs to be given to households with children under the age of 14.

For the dogs safety.

But Ellen (as much as I like her) doesn't READ the contract she signed and goes on national television, cries her eyes out, pleads for them to give the dog back to the caring family (Manson had a caring family also) and disses the animal rescue place because they took the dog away from from the family with the two UNDER age 12 kids (remember,they don't give small dogs to families with kids under 14 for the dogs safety...it's in the contract)

The whole point of the story?

1. Kids under the age of 14 kill small dogs.

2. Ellen should learn to read contracts she signs.

3. The Red Sox better win tonight or I will kill my small dog.

10 comments:

bacon ace said...

"1. Kids under the age of 14 kill small dogs.
3. The Red Sox better win tonight or I will kill my small dog"

Sheesh, what are you like 12? Grow up.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Your small dog believes the Red Sox will win. However, I noticed that she has a hobo stick ready, just in case. Oh, yeah. She'll pretend "it's for Halloween."

Clearly, I'm gonna have to be the one to wear the Gilligan hat tonight. I will.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

So if they win what gets credit...my lucky hat or your Gilligan hat?

And if they lose who gets the blame?

And what happens to my dog?

Anonymous said...

Your small dog's name is Sam, and if you appease his bloodlust with the lives of young brunette women Manny will hit two home runs tonight.

This will not help the Red Sox win, as Manny will take so much time admiring their flight that the game will be called on account of New Year's Day.

If you shoot Mariah Carey, Derek Jeter will swear the you were with him, watching the baseball game.

-- Lamont "Son of Man" Cranston

Sparkle Plenty said...

Ooh, that's a tough one, No Oprah! Maybe I shouldn't wear the Gilligan hat because it will confuse the karmic forces.

Either way, 'though, your dog gets a little belly rub, a tasty cookie, and told that she is a very, very good girl. It's in the contract.

cake said...

My lucky hat cancels out both your lucky hats.

Especially when I make my lucky puppy wear it for the whole game.

(And if the Sox lose, I blame Bush.)

Sparkle Plenty said...

Kate Bush? What did she do other than running up that hill?

cake said...

I hate her for all that damn cloudbusting, that damn rubberband girl. ::waves fist::

maddog said...

Send your dog to the hairdresser's family. If they reject your dog, go on the Ellen show and cry.

Jayne said...

Kate Bush makes me sing in a high pitched voice and everyone knows I can't do that. Mainly because I can't sing.

I bet Kate Bush would have scared the small dog away with the high pitched noises she makes. Ellen should have just played her dog Wuhering Heights if she couldn't be bothered too look after it. Then she could have blamed Kate Bush. When it went missing.