Saturday, November 03, 2007

Microscopic Analyses Of Arkansas Slate

To be exact...Black Slate from Mena, out near Big Forks.

This is a pure black slate, which to the unaided eye has an exceedingly fine texture and a remarkably smooth cleavage surface(very sexy) with a light luster. It is both carbonaceous (yeah, right!) and magnetitic: does not effervesce (puts middle finger out) with cold dilute hydrochloric acid (I'm guessing it does), is very sonorous (speak English freak scientist!), and very fissile (English, damn it!)

Under the microscope this slate shows a matrix of muscovite (Boris!), with a very brilliant aggregate polarization (LIAR!) and an unusally fine texture and great homogeneity (snicker).

Quartz grains are few and not over 0.01mm (Yeah,...we all know what that means??) in diameter. Rutile (that can't possibly be a real word) needles unusually minute. Many opaque (not clear) particles of irregular shape, some of which are pyrite (they now run Indian Casinos, correct...The Pyrite Tribe??) others magnetite, and some coaly (can't be a word) or graphitic matter.

NO CARBONATE.


So to sum up:

Arkansas has slate.

20 comments:

Mr. Slate said...

"JETSON...YOU'RE FIIIIIRRRRREDDDDDDD!!"

cake said...

So to sum up...

What?

Oh.

Never mind.

puns rock! said...

You know, there are a whole lotta puns just a stone's throw away, here...

mr. pizzwhistle said...

Are you taking this blog for granite?

i can't help myself said...

Whoever wrote that article was clearly stoned.

i can't help myself either said...

My sediments exactly!

mick said...

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place...

Tibbets said...

Rocky Road was my favorite ice cream.

potty mouth said...

I had my mouth washed out with soapstone once.

Are you nuts? said...

Are you off your rock(er)?

i really can't help myself said...

He's lost his marble.

mick again said...

It's only rock and coal but I like it like it yes I do!

now that's just silly said...

Is IANO mentally unstable? It's up to the quartz to decide!

(Get it...quartz...courts...ha ha...ha.)

this is even sillier said...

I think I'll make Key Limestone pie tonight.

heavy helen said...

My butt's kinda big...must be my sedimentary lifestyle, huh.

just curious said...

When IANO is declared insane by the quartz, will the judge bang his gravel?

random tard said...

"0.01mm"

That's ENORMOUS!!!

pyrite chief said...

Yes we run "Indian" casinos...wanna make something of it?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

By the way:

All the real slate stuff was written by T. Nelson Dale in 1906 in a publication called: Slate Deposits And Slate Industry of The United States.

The non-slate gibberish was written by me in a publication called: I Aint No Oprah in 2007.

t. nelson dale said...

I'm glad you credited me...I was about to come after you with my giant.