Monday, November 26, 2007

The Mouse was in the House

So I put some 'Mouse n' Rat poison' in the basement along the top of the foundation. The mices scurry around the edge of the foundation, eat the poison and die. The next day I go down to the basement, scoop up dead mices with the garden trough, and then throw them over my fence.

Seems simple. I should have just left it alone. But I ended up reading the box from the 'Mouse n' Rat poison'.

Turns out that the 'Mouse n' Rat poison' also can kill animals, birds, and humans.

Wouldn't it sell better if it was named 'Mouse n' Wifey n' Rats n' Birds n' Animals' n' Kids poison' ?

Or should I just get one of those humane traps for Wifey n' Kids?

17 comments:

Cake said...

It also causes The Retahdation. Suddenly much is explained...

Anonymous said...

Cough...gag....you...mean...that...wasn't...food?!

Anonymous said...

We're as fit as a fiddle, but that poison sure killed our career. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Hey, Ratt! You said it best yourselves: What goes around comes around, dudes.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Follow-up Question:
When you say you "throw them over your fence"...WHICH neighbor is angry with you?

Follow-up Comment:
Oh, my gosh. You killed Pixie and Dixie. You you you you JINKSY!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Nobody lives behind me...I threw them over that fence.

Anonymous said...

Cinderelly, Cinderelly...thanks for the treats, Cinderelly!

::seizes up::

::dies::

Anonymous said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Nobody lives behind me." There you go again with the "Nobody lives behind me." HEY! I live behind you! I can't help that I'm invisible, and now I've got all of these contaminated mice corpsicles to deal with. They're all over my effin' invisible lawn. Don't go lookin' for my invisible holiday cookie platter this year, Jinksy.

Anonymous said...

Come and play with us no-opie!

Anonymous said...

Jesus! And I thought you gave me these treats because of your Reagan boy-crush! I'm a man and not a meese--I mean mouse!

slumps to floor, no oprah scoops up with garden implement and dumps over fence into invisible neighbor's yard

Anonymous said...

You're one of those scary fans that Roy warned us about, aren't you?

Anonymous said...

"Hey ::bangbang on hood of car::...I'm choking on poison here!...."

Anonymous said...

I'm going to have sex with your fence.

Anonymous said...

"Please don't squeeze the poison."

Anonymous said...

Make sure if you use one of those humane traps on your wife that you set her free at least a mile away.

Otherwise she'll just come back.

Anonymous said...

I swear I didn't have a mouse in me.

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna have sex with your invisible fence.