Monday, November 26, 2007

The Mouse was in the House

So I put some 'Mouse n' Rat poison' in the basement along the top of the foundation. The mices scurry around the edge of the foundation, eat the poison and die. The next day I go down to the basement, scoop up dead mices with the garden trough, and then throw them over my fence.

Seems simple. I should have just left it alone. But I ended up reading the box from the 'Mouse n' Rat poison'.

Turns out that the 'Mouse n' Rat poison' also can kill animals, birds, and humans.

Wouldn't it sell better if it was named 'Mouse n' Wifey n' Rats n' Birds n' Animals' n' Kids poison' ?

Or should I just get one of those humane traps for Wifey n' Kids?

20 comments:

Maus said...

Nazi bastard

cake said...

It also causes The Retahdation. Suddenly much is explained...

Mickey M. said...

Cough...gag....you...mean...that...wasn't...food?!

rat said...

I HATE YOU!

RATT said...

We're as fit as a fiddle, but that poison sure killed our career. *sigh*

Whitesnake said...

Hey, Ratt! You said it best yourselves: What goes around comes around, dudes.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Follow-up Question:
When you say you "throw them over your fence"...WHICH neighbor is angry with you?

Follow-up Comment:
Oh, my gosh. You killed Pixie and Dixie. You you you you JINKSY!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Nobody lives behind me...I threw them over that fence.

little disney mouse said...

Cinderelly, Cinderelly...thanks for the treats, Cinderelly!

::seizes up::

::dies::

Invisible Neighbor Guy said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Nobody lives behind me." There you go again with the "Nobody lives behind me." HEY! I live behind you! I can't help that I'm invisible, and now I've got all of these contaminated mice corpsicles to deal with. They're all over my effin' invisible lawn. Don't go lookin' for my invisible holiday cookie platter this year, Jinksy.

Dead Mice al la The Shining said...

Come and play with us no-opie!

Ed Meese said...

Jesus! And I thought you gave me these treats because of your Reagan boy-crush! I'm a man and not a meese--I mean mouse!

slumps to floor, no oprah scoops up with garden implement and dumps over fence into invisible neighbor's yard

The Mousketeers said...

You're one of those scary fans that Roy warned us about, aren't you?

ratzo rizzo said...

"Hey ::bangbang on hood of car::...I'm choking on poison here!...."

invisible neighbor guy said...

I'm going to have sex with your fence.

mr. whipple said...

"Please don't squeeze the poison."

not a serial killer said...

Make sure if you use one of those humane traps on your wife that you set her free at least a mile away.

Otherwise she'll just come back.

hugh laurie said...

I swear I didn't have a mouse in me.

Other Invisible Neighbor Guy said...

I'm gonna have sex with your invisible fence.

confused perv said...

I'm going to have sex with your mice.