Thursday, December 20, 2007

My Shower With Cthulhu

So I'm standing in the shower this morning, steam filling the room, soap and shampoo everywhere, when all of a sudden Cthulhu GRABS my leg and wraps his slimey tentacles around me.

He's cold and creepy and trying to suck out my soul.

I hate him. I fear him.

He visits me most mornings and he gives me the creeps. I finish the shower and start my day knowing that the process of Cthulhu sucking my soul will continue for years and years.

Unless of course Wifey finally buys (and has installed) the frosted glass shower door I so much need and want.

Point of the story?

I don't like shower curtains.

26 comments:

cake said...

Pansy.

cthulu said...

This is crazy talk...

I don't suck Republican souls.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

'Pansy' in America means:

'tough guy with a heart of gold and a smile that melts the ladies'

It's true.

Jayne said...

Does the Cthulhu hate chew too?

cake said...

Sissy.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Sissy in America means:

'man who is afraid of shower curtains'

It's true.

Tex said...

Wuss

spud said...

stop shaving your legs and it won't stick to you.

probably not a psychologist said...

Wow, you have a real phobia... aquacortinphobia.

Seek help!

cake said...

Girl.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Girl in America means:

Girl.

It's true.

Cultist said...

Fthagn!

bacon ace said...

Do you have those sticky traction adhesives on the tub floor? If not you could have the "Fall of Cthulhu"

cake said...

So to sum up:

NoOprah is a tough Girl who is afraid of shower curtains and has a heart of gold and a smile that melts the ladies.

Cool.

bacon ace said...

"and a smile that melts the ladies."

Radiocative smile? Dude, brush those teeth.

Fatwoman said...

Dont shower, just let the cats lick you clean. It works!

Tex said...

NoOprah is a tough Girl who is afraid of shower curtains and has a heart of gold and a smile that melts the ladies.

so she goes both ways?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Just once.

But I was hopped up on HGH.

cake said...

And it was Hoag, who was wearing fancy shoes...so it hardly even counts.

Tex said...

wait..Hoag goes both ways too?

Jean Grosodeur from de nort' countree said...

Like you, M.Nophra, I too had the dislike by the curtains de shower, so many many year ago, I have them replace by the fine glass doors.

Tout la famille agree the shower door is a truly wonderful things.

They certainement opened up a whole new world of awareness by me. For instance, I discover that I did not really hate the curtains, in fact I hated the showers.

So I stop that, and now I find I have much more time to engage my interests because I have many many less friends annoying me.

Batroc Ze Leaper said...

Jean Grosodeur,
Are you making fun of Batroc Ze-Leaper'z accent?

cake said...

Slacker.

ze alte cacker from de nort' countree said...

Chriss de tabernac, M.Batroc, I would certainement make fun of your haccent if I knew what the hell is it.

You don' speak english too good, an' you has all dese words like "zut" an' "ze" dat are only use by les juifs ancien du New York, so I guess you ask me if I make fun by your Jewish accent and no I don' do dat.

santa claus said...

SLACKAH!

Tex said...

i guess IANO is getting coal in his stocking or he's still fighting off cthulu