Saturday, December 29, 2007

New Year Resolutions....for you.

1. Tighten up those thighs a bit.



2. A bit more.



3. Just a tad more...



4. Make up a new word to replace retard



5. Make up jive about Hillary Clinton



6. Help make the word jive popular again.



7. Use italics in the wrong way



8. Nothing for #8



9. Nickname your best pal Hoagy, cause confusion on the blogs.



10. Make up a Popeye/Bhutto joke.



11. Convince my Wifey to make those little swiss cheese/bacon thingies for me more often.



12. Get a potato. Get a masher.



13. Stab people that say: I Heart Huckabee



14. Stab people that love Huckabee



15. Make up a story involving Huckabee Finn



16. Read fewer blogs, work on thighs a bit more.



17. What did I just say?



18. You're only jiving yourself.



19. Make me cookies. Sugar cookies.



20. Write to Kentucky Fried Chicken....demand Popcorn Skin



21. Stab people that say "My resolution is not to make resoulutions."



22. Stab people that comment on people that say "My resolution is not to make resolutions."



23. Crap. ::holds bloodied belly:: Take me to doctor.



24. Watch New Years Rockin' Eve without commenting on how retar....I mean, how old Dick Clark sounds.



25. What if the Beatles sang about resolutions?



a) Resolution 9



Ahhhh fergit it....work on those thighs some more.

7 comments:

cake not logged in said...

I'd work on my thighs but I'm too busy eating the sugar cookies I made for you.

Sorry.

Also, I don't make resolutions. ::stabs self::

Tex said...

people who make resolutions are "ate up" (my made up word for retard).

my "mockareigna" (made up word for jive) about Hillary? She only wears blue suits to get back at Bill

makes sugar cookies for the gang while mashing my potato with my thighs (you DID say to work on our thighs right?)

Jayne said...

I don't make resolutions either.

*Jayne borrows Cakes stabbing implement*

Redbeard76 said...

That's 25 more resolutions than I'm going to make.

Oh, wait...

Pass the knife.

cake said...

Ooooh fine, if nobody else is gonna obey your resolutions...

1) ::tightens thighs::

2) ::tightens them more::

3) ::breaks down, eats chocolate bar::

4) Dungle. "Check out that dungle, his tongue doesn't even fit in his mouth!"

5) Ummm...

6) I used it this afternoon...and made myself laugh while the person I was talking to just ignored me. Does that count?

7) Is there a right way?

8) Are you sure?

9) Done.

10) I had one but it kinda blew up in my face.

11) Dear Wifey: Please do it, the whining is killing us.

12) I already have one, do you think I'm a dungled?

13) I'm in Canada, they don't exist.

14) See #13.

15) Tom Sawyer walked up to Huckabee Finn, "Hey, pal, wanna make a raft?" Huckabee rolled his eyeballs in answer, "I can't, I'm too busy being a Republican dungle!".

16) Quit being dungled.

17) Dungle!

18) DUNGLE!

19) See my earlier comment.

20) Done. Really.

21) See my earlier comment.

22) Are you dungled? See my earlier comment!

23) Sea kelp.

24) Impossible...he's just too dungled.

25b) All You Need is Resolutions... Norwegian Would You Lose Me Some Weight... I Wanna Hold Your Cigarette...

I must be dungled...do you have any idea how long it took to type all this out?! I'm so eating these sugar cookies now.

Happy 2008, y'all.

Casablanca Comics said...

You are such a jive-tard.....

Sparkle Plenty said...

To sum up: Happy New Year.