Monday, January 14, 2008

Mumbles, Fines, Snow, Doppler, and Nazis

First off I'd like to thank Doctor Nazi for helping out on the blog this weekend. Hopefully he'll join us again.

And now to my rant...errr....blog.

Big snowstorm hitting the Boston area today. Here are a few of the stupid things I heard on the 'news' today:

First from Mayor Mumbles Menino of Boston: "We urge all business to close today so the road crews can do a proper job and everyone can be safe at home. Two hours after the snow ends business sidewalks MUST be shoveled or you will be fined!"

YOU JUST TOLD US TO STAY HOME, YOU BUBBLE-HEADED BOOBY!!! HOW CAN WE SHOVEL OUR SIDEWALKS????!!!!

And then the weather guy on channel 7: "We have reports that in Natick 2 1/4" just fell in the last 45 minutes....the snow is falling at a rate of an inch an hour."

ARE YOU RETARDED??? YOU JUST SAID 2 1/4" FELL IN 45 MINUTES???!!!

And then how about the reporter doing her story from the side of the road: "The snow is really coming down."

ARE YOU RETARDED?? SNOW ALMOST ALWAYS COMES DOWN!!!!

If only Doctor Nazi was in charge of Boston and all weather related reports.

Point of the story:
The roads are fine. It might look bad outside from your house, but it's pretty easy getting around today.

16 comments:

cake said...

Dear Doctor Nazi:

IANO's very ranty this morning, what should we do about it?

Love,
Cake

Doc Nazi Out of Office Reply said...

You have reached the office of Doctor Nazi. I will be away from my desk today, January 14, 2007, because the news folks told me to stay home and I'm very good at obeying orders.

Please try your question again tomorrow.

T. menino said...

Dear Doctor Nazi,

Should I shovel?

T. Menino

Dr. N. said...

Dear T.

You shouldn't even be at work.

Love,
Dr. N.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Any Monday that I get to read the term "bubble-headed booby" is a very good Monday. Thank you.

cousin saul said...

Hmmmm....the weather isn't quite as bad down here in Florida...but we did have 6 inches of sunshine today. Brrrrr.....

cake said...

Dear Cousin Saul:

Pffffftttttttttttttttt!

Love,
Cake

cousin saul said...

Cake,
Sorry I missed your posting...I was out by the pool...how's things?

cake out of office reply said...

You have reached the office of the blogger known as "Cake." As she is too busy sulking at this time, she cannot answer your comment. Please be assured she will reply as soon as the snow has all melted...

...sometime in June.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

We were supposed to get snow here, but the storm seems to have neatly passed us by.

A little damp, but that's about it.

God loves his city, which has a significant population of the Chosen People.

-- Lamont "What Happened To That Eight Inches You Promised Me Last Night" Cranston

Not Doctor Nazi said...

Trust me Lamont, I'd never promise you 8 inches of anything.

EVER!

Sparkle Plenty said...

Dear Doctor Nazi,

I have a nice puppy.

What is his name?

Where did I get him?

Also: If No Oprah has a tiny little wiener dog (more like a Vienna sausage dog, really), does that mean that I should eat it mit schnitzel?

Love,
Sparkle

cake said...

My puppy would STILL kick both your puppies' butts, Sparkle and IANO...

Just sayin'.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Cakie and Noopie! Hope you enjoy my forthcoming 10-part blogiseries about Lily's unique qualities that make her the best dog ever. Sneak preview: SHE EATS! SHE SLEEPS! Seriously: I have photo documentation of ALL of that! Oh, and did I mention that Lily balances my checkbook and just learned how to fly a plane? Uh-huh.

Anonymous said...

I will award "best doggedness" to any pooch that actually leaves Timmy at the bottom of the well.

-- Lamont "Bits, But Definitely Not Kibbles" Cranston

cake said...

Lamont:

My pup would find Timmy at the bottom of the well very exciting...and then she'd bounce off to find someone to play with her and completely forget about wee Tim.

Does she win?