1. Jon Stewart was mildly amusing.
2. A bunch of the pictures nominated you've never heard of.
3. A bunch of the actors nominated you've never heard of.
4. They showed Jack Nicholson in the audience a few times. Most likely he was wearing sunglasses and laughing.
5. Johnny Depp was probably in the audience trying to look all sophisticated with glasses and interesting clothing.
6. If they showed Tommy Lee Jones there is a good chance that people all over the world recoiled and said: "Oh my god....he's so old and ugly!"
7. Someone won for some category that's dull and then proceeded to thank a bunch of folks you never heard of and then the music played them off.
8. Somebody accepting an award didn't quite understand how good microphones are and got way too close and hunchbacked while speaking into it. Hey Doofus! You don't have to do that! It can pick up your voice...just talk!!
9. When they showed the dead guys montage, Heath Ledger got the biggest applause. Nobody clapped for that assisstant gaffer from the 1950s.
10. People 'laughed' at 'jokes' about the ceremony going too long.
11. They showed Jack Nicholson again. He was still wearing sunglasses and laughing.
12. Gay folks wore red ribbons and cured AIDS. Al Gore sycophants wore green ribbons and cured "global warming"
13. Nothing for #13
14. Five horrible musical numbers were performed honoring the five nominated horrible best songs.
15. A star was a presenter and they somehow promoted his/her new movie with theme music from said new movie and or TV show.
16. A gorgeous actress presenter had to ruin her whole look by putting on goofy glasses to read her two lines off the teleprompter...instead of just memorizing them BECAUSE SHE'S AN ACTRESS AND IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO MEMORIZE LINES!!!!
17. Johnny Carson or Billy Crystal would have done a better job hosting.
18. There were seven jewish jokes. Most of them about agents and lawyers.
19. The best picture probably sucked. The best actor probably sucked. The best actress was probably British.
20. I watched episodes of HEROES on dvd....