Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Four Ounce Penis

I'm driving to work this morning and out came that fact on the radio.

The average human penis weighs four ounces. Even in it's different incarnations.

Four ounces.

And of course with a tidbit ::snicker:: like that, it made me think...

1. Who is doing the weighing?

2. Does it pay well?

3. Benefits? ::snicker::

4. Doesn't Hillary look like she could lose more than four ounces?

Four ounces. Seems so insignificant.

The least these weighers of penis could do is call it a Quarter Pounder. Seems so much more....so much more....so much more...ummmmm....meaty or something.

Four ounces.

Just another reason not to vote for Hillary.

29 comments:

cake said...

No wonder you folks need such a huge military...you're compensating!

Canadian penises average six ounces...hence our tiny military. See how it works?

You're welcome!

Lois Lane said...

To sum up:

IANO is considering a career change.

punny mcfilthymind said...

I can't wait for the Beatles songs to start raising their heads around here.

No pun intended.

Anonymous said...

Cake,

You have a six ounce penis?

I'm up for it said...

"All" My Loving.

cake said...

Dear Anonymous:

::coy wink::

Redbeard76 said...

What is this, penis day or something?

Anonymous said...

Every day is penis day.

Pervert said...

Now that's what I'm talking about Redbeard!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Maxwell's Four Ounce Hammer

Easily Carry That Weight

Let It Be Five Ounces

Norwegian Balsa Wood

I Am The Walrus Cub

Redbeard76 said...

Whaddya call a dude with schmegma?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) Where does "the average human penis" live? In "the average pair of pants" in Intercourse, Pennsylvania?
2) Is there any U.S. town or city named "Average"? Seems like there should be.
3) I betcha all of you boys sidle home tonight and flip your block and tackles up on scales--bathroom scales, postage scales, food-weighing scales--to see if this is true. Tip: If you find yourself in the produce aisle of a supermarket, be discreet. And hygenic. Please be hygenic.

Sparkle Plenty said...

P.S. I meant hygienic. And I really, really meant it.

cake said...

At four ounces, it'd have to be a postage scale for sure, Sparkle.

And when the weigh-in is done, wanna bet they start stuffing their pants with socks? And buyin' bigger cars?

Poor little guys.

cake said...

p.s.
I just noticed I have a tube of handcream on my desk and guess how much is in it? One penis's worth. ::snicker::

Redbeard76 said...

I got chap stick (Burt's Bees), weighing in at 0.15 ounces. I feel sorry for the poor bloke who measures up to that.

Sparkle Plenty said...

The Four Ounce Penis

1) You can make it sound better by calling it The 113.398093 Gram Penis.
2) You can make it sound worse by calling it The 1/2 Cup Penis.

BigPen15 said...

Slip a Nut on the scale when no one is looking, you can hit 6 ounces easy.

Biggy Small said...

1) You never give me your four ounces.

2) All you need is four ounces of love.

3) Across the Punyverse

cake said...

- I Want You (It's So Light!)
- Wee Mister Mustard
- Sgt Pepper's Puny Penis Club Band

hubba hubba said...

When I'm 64 Ounces

raccoon lover said...

Runty Raccoon

who cares about penises said...

Dizzy Miss Lezzy

David'Z RantZ said...

But... wouldn't you have to detach it to properly weigh it? Oooooh!

By the way, ladies, if you ever want to deliver a totally devastating insult to a man, point to his crotch and say, "Hey, that looks just like a penis.... only smaller."

Anonymous said...

David'z Rantz:

Saw a lass in a bar once try to pull that line on someone.

She was stopped cold by the rejoinder "How odd. I was just thinking the same thing about your boyfriend."

-- Lamont "No, It Wasn't Me -- I Still HAVE All My Teeth" Cranston

Anonymous said...

Oh, and...

thanks for the link! Rather than flat-out say I don't have a blog, I prefer to think of myself as a shadow blogger.

-- Lamont "No Pun So Low" Cranston

Sparkle Plenty said...

Feh! Shadow blogger indeed. The excellent pun does not serve to mitigate the fact that you are a big ol' lazybones.

Tex said...

somewhere there's a "Bushel and a Peck" joke

Jayne said...

I'm never going to read a recipe book in the same way again after Cake's 'penis worth' of handcream comment.

*Jayne runs off to see how many of the itmes in her home weigh the same as a penis*