Sunday, March 09, 2008

My views on abortion.

I don't care if you have one.

I don't care if you don't have one.

I don't care if they make them illegal.

I don't care if they're legal.

I don't care if you have one 8 months 29 days into pregnancy.

I don't care if you have one every year.

I don't care if you kill your three year old, your twelve year old, or your eighteen year old.

I don't care if you let them live either.

I don't care if you call it pro-choice, pro-life, or pro-death.

I'm never gonna have an abortion. Unless I get pregnant.

If they outlaw it and one of my daughters needs or wants one I'll pay for her to have one in another country.

Or maybe not. I don't care.

If they make it against the law and someone can't afford to have one...I don't care.

If you can't afford an abortion and have the baby and then put said baby in a dumpster I don't care.

Do whatever you want, but just shut up about it already.

I've got TV to watch.

52 comments:

oh lighten up, it's a joke said...

All You Need Is A Hanger.

Octofetus's Garden

Dr. Clever said...

When I'm RU486

Going to hell but worth it said...

Eight Scrapes A Week

(Would have been) Sexy Sadie

Happiness Is A Child Free Home

Got To Get You Out Of My Wife

Very proud of these two said...

Nothing

I Am The Unwanted Walrus

Doc Nazi said...

Have the kid and give it to me, ja?

there's always this option said...

Eight Spays a Week

jed said...

A Hard Days Knife

heavy helen said...

Quit asking me if I'm gonna have an abortion! I ain't pregnant!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I Want To Hold Your Little Underdeveloped Hand

PS I Clearly Don't Really Love You.

The Ballad of We Never Even Named Him and Yoko

this feels so wrong said...

- Maxwell's Silver Scraper
- Let it Bleed
- Mean Mister Morgentaler
- We All Don't Live in a Yellow Submarine or Anywhere Else Come to Think of it

sooo wrong said...

All Fetuses Must Pass

how can something so wrong be so funny said...

Abort Me Do

I Ain't No Oprah said...

All You Need Is A Few Hundred Dollars.

Here Goes The Son

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Slay Jude

I Ain't No Oprah said...

While My Guy Tard Gently Weeps

You're Going To Lose That Girl(or boy or whatever it is...it's so tiny and barely formed we can't even tell)

abortions are humorous! said...

Mommy (That's What I Want)

"Doctor" Robert

Everybody Is Trying To Abort My Baby

She Hates You

this is harder than it looks said...

- Abort That Weight

fetus said...

Don't Pass Me

ooh this one's lame said...

I Saw Her Gestating There (Briefly)

a little too on the nose? said...

I've Got a Fetus...Oh Now I Don't

It's a woman's right to choose said...

Fixing a Ho

A Day In The Death

Deathday

Can't Buy Me Life

Let It Die

I can't stop having unprotected sex said...

Maxwell's Silver Forceps

cake said...

What if the Beatles wrote about NoOprah's stance on abortion? (To sum up):

Ob-la-do, ob-la-don't

ok it's a bit of a stretch said...

Fixing a Mistake Left by a Hole in the Condom

pro-life? Pro-choice? said...

My Body

Lend Me Your Womb

going to hell said...

Hello Goodbye (no edit required)

meetcha in hell! said...

Happiness is a Cold Womb

I Ain't No Oprah said...

The Fool Not On The Pill

get this thing outta me said...

I Don't Want You (It's So Heavy)

pro-kids said...

Let it Breed

ewww said...

Lucy in the Stirrups with Dilation

young and foolish said...

Strawberry Killing Fields Forever

When I'm Sixty Four (I'll probably regret this)

is it even a word? said...

Dear Imprudence

erik the viking said...

Norwegian flesh and bones

cake said...

So Barren Uteruses Forever?

Maybe not quite...but so close...

get this thing outta me, I said said...

Twist and Shove

two's company said...

Three of Us...No, Wait...Two of Us!

eww eww ewwwww said...

We Can Suck it Out

unhappy dad-to-be said...

Your Wild Honey Pie Got Us Into This Mess

how'd we miss this one? said...

You Won't See My Baby

probably not beatles said...

Ain't Nothing Gestating

David'Z RantZ said...

Ohhh, John and George are no doubt rolling over in their graves right now. So's Paul, and he isn't even dead yet. And I hear Ringo would roll over in his grave... for twenty dollars.

I just wish they could extend the allowable time for legal abortions to about 50 years after birth. There are so many people that the passage of time can prove should have been aborted.

David'Z RantZ said...

IANO: This has nothing to do with abortion, but you might enjoy this link, seeing as how you're such a big Hillary fan: http://www.teptronics.com/83304.html

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear David Rantz,

Just for the record...I do enjoy things other than abortion.

a smartmouth said...

Yeah, David...he enjoys Hitler, too.

Get with the program, wouldja?

David'Z RantZ said...

IANO: You might just be the only person I know of to use the words "enjoy" and "abortion" in the same sentence. But at least you didn't use "Hillary" and "beautiful" together. That'd be breaking your own rule. Now "Hillary" and "abortion" would lend themselves to all sorts of fun combinations, I expect... Which reminds me, how many toilet brushes did you order?

Smartmouth: "Hitler" and "abortion" would lend themselves to several combinations as well.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Holy guacamole. Rarely have I seen such a vast preponderance* of anonymous contributions.

*See what happens when I spend three days reading? I miss a lot of warped Beatles songs AND start using words like this.

not a retard like Sparkle said...

There are no anonymous comments.

cake said...

I thought I had another good comment here but, on second thought, it's not so good...so I'm aborting it.

careless commenter said...

This comment was accidental but it's too far along now to abort it...bugger.

bring on the puns said...

I was trying to scrape up some good abortion jokes but I just can't think of any worth carrying out.

bacon ace said...

When I'm 64 (days, and that's as old as I'm going to get)