Monday, April 07, 2008

Scoldy, The Kung-Fu Panda

So the other night I was at the movies and in the lobby was a large cardboard stand-up advertising a new Pixarian film called KUNG-FU PANDA.

Seems like a cute idea. Giant panda that uses the lost art of kung-fu.

Kung-Fu Panda.

I was sold just by the name alone.

Until I got to my seat and the lights went dim.

The show started by having a 'presentation' of the rules of the cinema told to me by...yup, the KUNG-FU PANDA.

No this, no that. No Cell Phones.

And then he got angry and pointed right at me and said in his deep menacing Panda voice: "AND NO TEXTING!! People can hear YOU!!"

Keep in mind I was at an IMAX theatre about to see the Rolling Stones. Nobody could hear me texting. If in fact I was texting.

Which I was.

Until ScoldyLocks shamed me.

I HATE CHEW KUNG-FU PANDA!!!

40 comments:

kung fu panda said...

You! You! STOP TEXTING!

cake said...

When that panda commercial came on in my theatre, I sent a text to the theatre management telling them I wished their stupid panda was attacked by a Fenway hawk.

(Okay, not really...but I wanted to.)

c, heston said...

"Get your hands off my cell phone ya damn dirty Panda!"

Joe Doherty said...

I don't blame you for texting during the Rolling Stone movie. I would have been bored out of my mind, too...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Joey D-

You're dead to me.

Dead.

cake said...

Dear Mr. Doherty:

Me as well.

AND I'll be sending the panda around to visit you.

Love,
Cake

scoldy the kung-fu panda said...

Joey D-

NO COMMENTING on the STONES until you've seen them!

kungfu jagger said...

Woo-Woo!

::beats Joe up::

Kung-Fu Beatles said...

Scold Brown Shoe

Panda Lane

Please Mr. PandaMan

I Am The Panda

Text-it To Ride

Text and Shout

While My Cell Phone Gently Beeps

Mean Mr. Panda

David'Z RantZ said...

I thought they already used that kung-fu panda idea in a film. It starred Chris Farley, I believe.

Horroru said...

Since Scorsese directed this, I went thinking I'd see the Stones get beat up by DeNiro and Pesci, then thrown into the trunk of a car and shot.

That didn't happen, but the Stones did look like they got beat up.

I texted Joe D. through the whole film, telling him how bored I was.

scoldy said...

Dear HorrorU,

NO TEXTING!

stuckwithacomb said...

You're a lot bossier than that panda.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Me?

cake said...

Buncha savages around this blog today, I tell ya.

i probably ain't no oprah said...

NO CALLING ME BOSSY!

Joe Doherty said...

HorrorU, thank you for the texting of the movie. I had insomnia until I read about the Stones.

No seriously...the Stones movie must be wonderful. You don't see a lot of movies from the AARP Production company.

Scoldy the Kung-Fu panda said...

NO TAUNTING!

scoldy the insomniac kungfu panda said...

NO SLEEPING!

scoldy the mime loving king-fu panda said...

::makes shape of imaginary glass box....kung-foos it::

Scildy the Typo infested Kung-Fu panda said...

I HATE JHEWS!

cousin saul said...

NoOprah,
If Joe D. is dead to you ...can I have his gun?

scoldy the mentally deficient panda said...

NO EATING COOKIES! I HATE CHEM!

scolding the anti-gun lobby panda said...

Saul:

NO GUNS!

i meant to say scoldy said...

Crap.

Scaldy the burn victim Kung fu panda said...

"YOWWWWCH!!!!!!"

coldy kungfu panda said...

Brrr.

oldie the geriatric Kung-fu panda said...

"I used to have to walk 10 kilometers in the rain to get to school when I was you age..."

moldy the kung -fu panda said...

"Wanna buy some cheap penicillin?"

boldy the kung-fu panda said...

"I ain't wearing any pants."

uppity canuck kung-fu panda said...

You spelled kilometres wrong.

Boldly going where no kung-fu panda has gone before said...

"Beam me up, Scoldy."

foldy the kung-fu panda said...

I like origami.

george the kung-fu panda said...

A long time ago, with a panda far far away...

Zoldy the Mystical Kung-fu panda said...

"You will live a long and fruitful life....send IANO a dollar."

foldy the poker playing kung-fu panda said...

::folds aces over jacks::

yodelly the kung-fu panda said...

Yodel-Ay-Ee-Oooo!

Nolte the Drunken Kung-fu Panda said...

::burp::

salty the pirate kungfu panda said...

Yaaaaaaaarr, mateys!

Kung-fu Panda said...

::in friendly Kung-Fu Panda voice::

"Sorry Steve, I didn't know it was you."