Thursday, April 03, 2008

Why I'm a failure.

I'll tell you why.

As hard as I try I can't talk like Yoda. I just can't get the speech pattern down and it kinda pisses me off.

Hoag can do it well. He says stuff the Yoda way and even sounds like him.

Cake can do it well when typing. I have no idea if she can actually sound like him.

When I try and speak like Yoda (and who doesn't!) I sound more like Bizarro Superman.

Or a retard.

It ain't fair.

I could try right here for you all but I'd just be ridiculed. And we can't have that.

(GOD....I hope I don't throw a baseball like a girl)

17 comments:

yoda said...

My friends ridicule me when I try and sound like NoOprah...

Lois Lane said...

Try this, you should.

http://www.yodaspeak.co.uk/

Anonymous said...

NoOprah:

You have to start small. First, try to speak like the guardian of the Bridge of Peril from Monty Python And The Holy Grail.

Baby steps, baby steps.

Eventually you can move up to Grover. Once you've mastered that, you can go for Keanu Reeves' natural speaking voice.

Yoda's just a blend of the three.

-- Lamont "Blue. No, Yellow" Cranston

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Thank you, me do.

(SEE!!! I can't do it!!!)

Sparkle Plenty said...

To sum up: You don't try hard.

David'Z RantZ said...

Why I'M a failure (or at least, probably am in the eyes of everyone around here, who all know way too many comic book and fantasy-related references): I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY OF THE STAR WARS MOVIES ALL THE WAY THROUGH!

By choice, of course, it's not like they weren't available anywhere! No real reason. Just never cared to. I know the plots and even read the comic adaptations of the "real" first three, back when there were only three. (See? You all know what I meant by that!!!!!!!)

Anyway, to sum up (as the saying goes), because of that... I never tried to talk like Yoda.

P.S. ~~ Sparkle's a pigeon. Jayne was right. Damn.

Search party's been called off. My Cheerios stay at home. My cat had better start eating again.

(And don't be surprised if you see the "P.S." part of this comment again... )

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Submarine Yellow It Is.

Joe Doherty said...

IANO, if you have to hope you don't throw like a girl, chances are good you do...

Yoda is laughing at you.

cake said...

Now I can't do Yoda speak anymore...NoOprah has said I do it well and now I'm all intimidated. What if I don't live up to the hype!?

Crap!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

(kinda sad and pathetic that Lois knew instantly of a Yoda-Speak generator)

cake said...

Waitasec..."Submarine Yellow it is"?!

Wow.

You are lame.

Spud said...

It's not so much how you throw.
It's how catch.

double-entendres r us said...

So IANO catches?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Oh boy, here we go...

double-entendres r fun said...

...and that means SWAC pitches!

Uke Steppeswalker from de nort' countree said...

Say I could, a moron you are, because Yoda you cannot speak.

But you are not a moron. You are just unable to imitate the entity who was (apparently) the epitome of Jedihood.

~Uke Steppeswalker
Who could never figure out if the epitome of jedihood was verbally dyslexic or just bag o' hammers stupid to learn English. There is no try...

Redbeard76 said...

Like girl throw baseball you do.