Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Flat Tire

So on Memorial Day I was working and called up Wifey to see how her day was going.

She told me it was horrible....she was out at a store and got a flat tire.

I asked her if she changed the tire.

She said no....she'd call her Dad and he'd take care of it for her (she had already gotten a ride home...she left the car in the parking lot of The Store I Won't Shop At)

Now her Dad is in his 70s and really shouldn't be changing flat tires so I said:

"I'll do it after work."

You can hear the silence on the other end, can't ya?

But Wifey doesn't want to insult 'her man' by making him feel weak and stupid so she says:

"Okay."

So I get home, pick her up, and drive To The Store I Won't Shop At. I open the trunk and get out the jack and spare tire.

Wifey is looking at me with this don'tfuckitupdon'tfuckitupdon'tfuckitup look on her face.

(She uses that face often with me )

Did I mention I'm in my late 40s and have never changed a flat tire before? (I have people for that...usually Wifey's Dad)

And she's watching me as I take off the lug nuts. My muscles are bulging. Wind blowing through my hair. Sweat on the chest,small of the back. I jack up the car. She's watching. I remove the tire. She's watching. I put on the spare. She's watching. I tighten up lug nuts and lower jack. She's watching and she's impressed.

She watched Her Man change a tire and she was aroused.

In the parking lot of The Store I Won't Shop At.

16 comments:

cake said...

So to sum up:

Wifey started the car to drive off and the tire fell off.

sassy mccheekypants said...

Gee, I hope you didn't get grease on your outfit.

Sparkle Plenty said...

AAA is my dad. I have severe tire anxiety; I manage to take the air out rather than putting it in.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Do you call him Aaady or Aaather?

Sparkle Plenty said...

I get all beatniky and go with Aaaddio.

Maybe hitler said...

Jews call him AAAbba

cake said...

For a split second, I thought you were trying to say "Arthur" but with a Boston accent.

::snicker::

Aaabba said...

Daaaaancing Queen...

joey ramone said...

AAAbba AAAba Hey!

The beatles said...

AAA Jude

Richard Starkey said...

I AAAm The WAAAlrus

Fonzie said...

Aaay, Jude!

Billy preston said...

AAA Day In The Life

the mailman said...

Ob-La-Di, Ob-la-DAAA

funbags said...

AAAte Days A Week

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