So this past weekend I went camping.
Camping, as in near a lake. In a tent.
In fact, a whole bunch of us went. Near a lake. In some tents.
So anyhow around two in the morning I wake up and need to go to the campground restroom to check how my hair looks (or something)
The restroom is up a hill in the middle of the woods (but close by)
2:00 am hair looks pretty good and I start back to my tent when all of a sudden I spot a bear!
There is a bear standing next to a tree about 20 feet from me.
I remember my bear training from The Hoag and I stand motionless (except for my hair which is blowing nicely in the wind)
And then I hear the bear roar!
"DAD! It's me!"
Holy crap! I'm the father of a bear!!! I'm the father of a talking bear!!"
"Dad, it's me...I'm over here!"
And then it dawned on me....that was my human daughter standing by the tree. At 2:00 am.
I was still wary of bear and remembered my teenage girl training I received from The Hoag...always approach with caution.
So what was human daughter doing at 2:00 am, in the woods, pretending she was a bear?
Turns out she was pretending to be a queasy bear and she was vomiting at the base of the tree.
And I did what any human father would do. I said:
"I hope you feel better in the morning...I'm going back to my tent. Be careful."
Fast forward 6 hours or so:
I get up and head to the campground restroom to check on my hair and I notice two chipmunks messing around with my daughter's vomit that is still pooled at the base of the tree.
I quickly name one of the chipmunks 'Dale'. I can't think of what to name the second one.
POINT OF THE STORY:
When camping, you experience the Circle of Life (or Cheerios, or whatever it is she ate that made her sick) first hand.
Or of course, something.