Friday, October 03, 2008

The Fundamental Differences between Wall Street and Main Street should be put in a Lock Box until we can Change them with 1000 points of Light


Or something.


So hopefully you watched (sheds tear) the debate last night. If you didn't you'll just have to trust (winks) me when I recap it.

Which I'm about to do.

As you watch these debates (tears up) you realize really quick that the circuitry built inside politictians starts to misfire fairly fast.

Biden's 'fundamental circuitry' was the first to go. Somehow his programmers (cult leaders) felt it was important (winks) to use the word 'fundamental' every chance he could.

And he did.

And then he started to have fun with the word and would emphasize different parts of said word.

"The FUN-da-mental challenges..."

"The fun-da-MENTAL difference... (he used this one when nodding at Sarah's retarded child)

"The FUND-a men-tall blah blah blah (He used this when he was just making up crap (tears up))

And then Sarah's circuitry broke (winks) and she started saying stuff like:

"When I'm the Vice President and am hosting a hootinanny..."

"Gol darn it Joe!"

"the maverick...John McCain! (say it ONE more time Sarah and I'm gonna smack ya upside the head!)

"Say it ain't so, Joe"

"So I look to Main Street and Joe Six-Pack and hockey."

And then the debate (winks) went on.

And on. And on. Joe making up lies and Sararh just kinda getting thru it without really screwing up too bad.

And then it happened.

Joe looked at Sarah and flashed his big giant smile at her.

At he was smiitten!

Joe Biden, the seasoned politician, fell in love.

The camera pulled back for a wide shot of the two (tears up) of them.

And right there, at that moment, you could see the fundamental difference between them!

Joe Biden had an erection during a nationally televised debate!

And he flashed that big toothed smile again (winks) and reached inside his pants!

During a nationally televised debate!

And he took his fundamental difference in his large Home Depot-ey hands and told Sarah "I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!"

And finally the moderator told him to put his FUN-da-MENTAL difference back in his Lock Box and get back to debating.

And Joe flashed that smile one more time, and made up some more untruths(winks), some more(tears) lies, some more or somethings.

------------
So To Sum Up:
Sarah looked better in her black dress than Joe looked with his hands down his pants.

18 comments:

joe six pack said...

I thought she was hot.

James garner said...

I'm Maverick!

folksy gal from Alaska said...

::wink::

backwoods kentucky guy said...

Hubba, hubba! Now that's mah kinda woooo-man!

cake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

I disagree and thank Biden for all of the laughs. I am glad I was not playing a drinking game using the following words to take shots:

-Fundamental
-Alaska
-Literally
-Maverick
-Gwen

P.S. I'm pretty sure all Joe was thinking about was a threesome between Gwen and Sarah...he said Gwen's name a LOT.

Sparkle Plenty said...

winks, works dimples, flutters lashes

Sarah P.: "I may not answer the questions the way you or the moderator want to hear, but I 'm going to talk to the American people."

Sparkle Translates: "I am not gonna listen to these silly old questions, but I'm gonna relentlessly hammer the talking points I have memorized! HOORAY FOR JOE SIX-PACK AMERICA!"

To sum up: I betcha!

Sarah said...

priceless sparkle my dear!

mulderjoe said...

I found her using the term "Joe Six-pack" as insulting to us Joes. Especially those of us who are more like "Joe Kegger".

Btw, Sarah's right: Biden was totally thinking of a threesome. Who wasn't?!

cake said...

Awwww shucks, can't we all just get along? ::bats eyelashes, flashes some leg::

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Paperback Winker

Eight Days a Wink

Can't Biden Me Love

Happiness is a Wink Gun

The Fool On Capitol Hill

I Wanna Be Your Biden

Palin My Life

mulderjoe said...

Leftover pizza crusts

Horroru (Joe O) said...

When she asked "Can I call you Joe?" I just know she was talking to me!

Then she winked at me and offered me a six pack.

She's got my vote...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Sorry Joe...she winked at ME.

Sarah said...

You're both wrong.
She totally winked at me.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

That's hot.

mulderjoe said...

Two Sarahs, no waiting...

Sarah said...

Sarah Squared, and we both have hot librarian glasses.