Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween.



Did we once do a racist Halloween candy blog?

Massa Goodbar? Sniggers Bar?

Probably.

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Did we do a lame Halloween candy blog?

Candy corn? Popcorn balls? Pennies?

Probably.

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Did we once do a blog about how Obama was going to change Halloween?

The kids that go out and get candy have to give a part of their take and give it to the lazy kids that didn't feel like going out.

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How Sarah Palin was going to change Halloween?

Trig or Treat?

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Have I done a blog about just how much I hate Halloween? About how I just wanna watch TV and not hear knocks on my door and my dog go all spazzy? Huh?

And don't you hate people on Halloween that stay 'in character'...HEY BUDDY!! WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT REALLY JASON OR MICHAEL MYERS!!! OKay?? We get it. Douche.

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Have I done my Halloween confessional?

How when my kids were younger and would go to bed after trick or treating and how I'd raid their candy bowls and take all the good stuff and leave them with Skittles and Chuckles and raisins?

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Did I mention that Cousin Saul would have a big pot of mashed potatoes and threaten to ladle them into kids trick or treat bags?

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Did I mention the year we ran out of candy and gave kids boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?

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Did I make the observation about if that mask up top is Obama or OJ or Steve Harvey?

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Did I mention I want Halloween to be over more than I want the election to be over?

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Dear Halloween,

I hate you.

I love candy.

Love,
IANO

PS TO WIFEY
Don't get all generous with the candy tonight and start dumping it into kids bags cuz you don't want leftover candy. I'm wise to you. Always have been. You candy hater you!

8 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

COOL! Where can I get that boss Pez dispenser?! In fact, I want the whole Pezidential set! Unless...ooh...do the dentures come flipping out of the McCain Pez dispenser???

cake said...

I see IANO is dressed as the Grinch.

lone gunman said...

On the JFK PEZ the candy dispenses out the back of the head.

grassy-knoll-standing-guy said...

mmmm...brain matter flavored Pez!

Lois Lane said...

I just spent 10 minutes talking to my neighbor, who informed me that he was voting for McCain, because if Obama won he'd take away all our guns and make us become communists.

To get rid of him, I told him to walk down the street to the nerd shoppe, where it was free candy and bullets day.

bacon ace said...

Man, what a sourpuss NoOprah is today. I can understand his dislike of democrats and Obama (no I can't, silly man) but how do you hate Halloween?

cake said...

Bacon:

He has a lifelong fear of The Great Pumpkin and it's coloured his entire feeling about the day.

I feel badly for him...I was gonna offer to share my candy to make him feel better but then I accidentally ate it all. Oh well.

Sarah said...

The PS was great