Thursday, October 02, 2008

A review of the VP debate


I saw the debate.

Huh, you ask?

Now you can believe me, or you don't have to believe me, but I went into the future to watch the debate (it's Buddy Nite tonight and I would have missed it)

I will now proceed to give my views and reviews on the important parts of said debate:

THOUGHTS AS JOE BIDEN IS INTRODUCED: "Nice comb-over, Douche."

THOUGHTS AS SARAH PALIN IS INTRODUCED: "Damn...she has some great skin!"

THOUGHTS AS JOE BIDEN EXPLAINS HOW HE WILL FIX ECONOMY: "Oh great...another tax increase and more low paying jobs for Mexicans."

THOUGHTS AS SARAH PALIN EXPLAINS HOW SHE'LL FIX THE ECONOMY: "Holy cow, she looks great in that red dress! AY-Carumba!"

THOUGHTS AS JOE BIDEN EXPLAINS HIS FOREIGN POLICY: "Oh great...Joe is gonna give terrorists first class seats on our planes thinking they won't be so angry when they get here. Douche."

THOUGHTS AS SARAH PALIN EXPLAINS HOW SHE'LL FIX THE ECONOMY: "OH my god...I'd love to give you a soft kiss on your neck...maybe whisper something in your ear...."

THOUGHTS AS JOE BIDEN EXPLAINS ROE vs WADE: "I wonder if Beckett will be healthy enough to pitch game three?"

THOUGHTS AS SARAH PALIN EXPLAINS ROE vs WADE: " Camerman, camerman...show us her backside...come on now, show us, show us....BINGO!"

THOUGHTS AS JOE BIDEN STARTS A POINTING AND A WAVIN' HIS ARMS AROUND LIKE A KOOK: "What a kook."

THOUGHTS AS SARAH PALIN SLIGHTLY LIFTS ONE FOOT OUT OF 3" RED PUMP: "Oh baby...that's so hot, keep going, that's it...keep going...just like that....a bit more...yes...yes! BINGO!"

THOUGHTS AS JOE BIDEN STARTS GETTING ALL ANGRY: "He's startin' to get angry!"

THOUGHTS AS SARAH PALIN STARTS GETTING ALL HOT: "She's hot!"

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SO TO SUM UP:

Sarah looks adorable all deer in a headlighty. Joe is an asshole.

PS

I thought it very unfair that the moderator of the debate happened to be writing a book about Obama. Could she have been biased with her questions?

The PS is true.

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9 comments:

cake said...

Men, always thinking with the wrong hea-- what? Too obvious? Oh.

I hope Sarah talks about dinosaurs. I get goosebumpy just thinking about it.

Beth said...

I can see the debate from my house. Does that make me qualified to run for vice president?

maddog said...

Palin moves from behind the podium. We see nylons (thigh-highs, line up the back.) The crowd goes wild. Biden counters by unzipping and displaying his lucky John Kerry codpiece. The crowd reaction surpasses the vomit scene from Stand By Me.

Biden: Douche. Palin: Yummy.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Why do I have the feeling that SNL, The Daily Show, Colbert, Letterman, and Leno will have material for 6 months after this debate?

julie said...

Typical male.

cake said...

Dear Maddog:

I heard she was planning to wear off-white support hose with a peach-colored Hillary pantsuit.

And sneakers.

what if beatles were republican? said...

- All You Need is a Pushup Bra
- I Want to Hold Your "Hand"
- Ob-la-woo, ob-la-hoo!
- A Long Day's Night, PantPantPant
- Eight Leers a Week
- Happiness is a Warm Sarah
- The Continuing Story of Bungling Biden

oh crap, she wore pants said...

Twist and Pout

frustrated republican said...

You Never Give Me Your Cunny