Friday, November 21, 2008

The Bloody Finger



::phone rings, no caller ID number shows::

ME: "Hello!"

TBF: ::super creepy voice:: "I AM THE BLOODY FINGER AND I'M ONLY A FEW MILES AWAY!"

ME: ::hangs up::

::phone rings a few minutes later::

ME: "Hello!"

TBF: "I AM THE BLOODY FINGER AND I'M ONLY A TWO MILES AWAY!"

ME: "Very funny...knock it off." ::hangs up::

::phone rings about 5 minutes later::

ME: ::a bit nervous:: "Hello?"

TBF: "I AM THE BLOODY FINGER AND I'M LESS THAN ONE MILE AWAY!"

----

Now I'm getting a bit more nervous. It's clearly not any of my friends playing a joke or anything.

::phone rings::

ME: "Hello?"

TBF: "I AM THE BLOODY FINGER AND I'M ONLY 7 HOUSES AWAY FROM YOU!"

ME: "Knock it off loser! And stop calling!"

{lucikly Wifey and the kids aren't home, but the puppy is going nuts! Barking (Howling?) at the front door!}

::phone rings::

ME: "Now listen, Asshole..."

TBF: ::super creepy voice:: "I AM THE BLOODY FINGER AND I'M STANDING ON YOUR DRIVEWAY!"

ME: ::I'm just about to call the police when there is a knock on my frontdoor... and for some stupid reason I open it!!:


And there, standing at my door, is the largest, creepiest guy you've ever seen in your life.

TBF: ::super creepy voice:: "I AM THE BLOODY FINGER.....do you have a Band-Aid?"

---------

The above story might or might not be true.

18 comments:

stuckwithacomb said...

Jumped-the-Shark

mulderjoe said...

That story scared me.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Allright, allright...so it was a story my brother told me when I was four years old.

Sue me.

the bloody finger said...

Actually I asked for a Curad brand bandage.

cake said...

I laughed.

I might need more coffee.

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) The Bloody Finger doesn't have a good texting plan.
2) The Bloody Finger is very considerate about providing updated ETAs.
3) Up until the end, I really figured it was typical buddy nite shenanigans.

mulderjoe said...

I'm still hiding under my desk.

The Bloody Finger said...

Dear MulderJoe,

I am the Bloody Finger...and I am UNDER YOUR DESK!

mulderjoe said...

AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Begone, o finger de sangre!

The Bloody Finger said...

Dear MulderJoe,

In three days, I will be thinking about slowwwwwwly moving towards your desk. With menace.

Just wanted to give you a heads up. Do you have a lot of meetings next week? A lot of stuff that'll keep you away from your desk? If so, please let me know and I'll change my plans accordingly.

Please expect an update on my travel plans tomorrow.

(Can you tell I am using a super creepy voice?)

BOO!
The Bloody Finger

Horroru (Joe O) said...

I once found a bloody finger in my french fries! And you won't believe this but it was Rutger Hauer that put it there!

(also, that may be a scene from The Hitcher....)

Gary Glitter said...

Hey

Edgar Winter said...

::Frankenstein::

hook in the doorhandle said...

Bah, not as scary as me.

Hot Butter said...

::Popcorn!::

i need words in my songs said...

I'm not getting three of the last four.

Bleedles said...

- I Want To Hold Your Bloody Hand
- Bleed Bleed On Me Do
- Twist and Bleed
- Happiness is a Bloody Stump
- Rocky "Three Fingers" Raccoon

Bleeding Stones said...

Let it Bleed