Friday, January 16, 2009

The nipple trumps the milk

Last night was buddy nite with me and The Blonde (The Hoag was somewhere in a plane over the US)

We settled into one of our regular haunts.

Soon after I spot a few of my neighborhood gal friends.

So I walk over to their table, say hi, meet a few of their other friends and then back to my table.

And then I call over the bartender and tell him to deliver a nice glass of milk to their table (I have to be careful not to step in my own genius)

So he pours a small glass of milk and puts it on small tray and brings it over with style.

Lame joke, but it gets a smile and a wave.

So me and The Blonde continue with wine and dinner and no Hoag.

And then the bartender appears at my table with a small glass of something.

ME: "What's this?"

BARTENDER: "It's from the gals over at table 1."

ME: "What is it?"

BARTENDER: "This is a Slippery Nipple.... :::smiles:::: and I'm done doing this tonight!"

ME: "Nice."

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SO TO SUM UP:

Nipples Trump Milk

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SIDEBAR #1:

I now have the tune of The Farmer in the Dell stuck in my brain but with the lyric:

The Nipple Trumps The Milk, The Nipple Trumps The Milk, Hi-Ho The Dairy-O The Nipple Trumps the Milk...


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SIDEBAR #2
Thank you to my buddy JH and the movie Roxanne for the paraphrased line :

"I have to be careful not to step in my own genius."

11 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

What if the Beatles sang about cocktails?

Pink Lady Madonna
And...

Okay. That didn't take long.

Lois Lane said...

O Bla Di, O Bla Daiquiri?

Lois Lane said...

O Bla Di, O Bla Daiquiri?

Lois Lane said...

And let that be a lesson to you all...playing the Beatles drinking game leads to duplicate posting.

::hic::

Sparkle Plenty said...

Pink Lady Madonna
And...

Oh, man! Lois is right!

David'Z RantZ said...

If I ever start up that X-rated blog I threatened to start several months ago (David'X RantX), I'm going to steal this story and re-tell it with a better ending. Just sayin'.

By the way, thanks SO much for sticking "The Farmer in the Dell" in my brain. Here's one for you: "Hey-la, hey-la, my boyfriend's black!"

Hope I've ruined that song for you all, forever. So there.

David'Z RantZ said...

Any Mai-Tai at All
Ballad of Scotch and Water
Good Day Tequila Sunrise
Hey Bullfrog
I Am the (Harvey) Wallbanger
Long Island Ice Tea Sally
Strawberry Daiquiri Forever
The Continuing Story of Boilermaker Bill

David'Z RantZ said...

::hic::

Any Mai-Tai at All
Ballad of Scotch and Water
Good Day Tequila Sunrise
Hey Bullfrog
I Am the (Harvey) Wallbanger
Long Island Ice Tea Sally
Strawberry Daiquiri Forever
The Continuing Story of Boilermaker Bill

Confused said...

Hey-la to you, too, David'Z. But, wait a second. Why would the fact that your boyfriend is black ruin a song for us? Which song would it ruin?

David'Z RantZ said...

Go ahead and scoff, you... you... you scoffing scoffer, you! But verily, I say unto thee, the song "My Boyfriend's Back" shall be ruined for you, forevermore!

Cake said...

I've had "The Farmer in the Dell" stuck in my head all afternoon and I was cranky to start with. IANO WILL PAY!