Tuesday, July 06, 2010

This is the one about the buck-toothed gal.


You stare at them. You can't help it.

Burn victims.


Any freak or misfit you look at.

You know it's wrong....but you always try for at least a glimpse.

This here story is about the buck-toothed gal.

(The second most emabarrassing moment of my life...the first is when I called 4th grade teacher 'Mom')

So anyhow...

Years and years ago Buck-Toothed gal used to come in my shop.

From the very beginning I was fascinated with her teeth.

They were huge and she was pretty. Good figure, charming personality. Sexy.

Buck teeth.

And not just any buck teeth...but BUCK TEETH. Tojo-propoganda style buck teeth.


Bugs Bunnyish buck teeth.

I'd try not to stare.

Yet I always would.

I couldn't wait for her to come back in. Luckily she was a semi-regular and I got to gaze upon those chiclets on a semi-regular basis.

Until one day.

On that day she caught me staring.

I was clearly looking at her buck teeth. I couldn't pretend otherwise.

What could I do??? My mind raced.

I looked right at her bucky-boys.

She looked at me.

I spoke first:

ME: "I love your teeth!"

HER: "Thank you!"


She kept coming in after that. Always flashing those magnificent buck teeth. Always smiling. Proud of her teeth that I said I loved.

I don't even like buck teeth.

But hers were something. She wore them proudly.

And I had to look at them.

Then she stopped coming in.

Years and years went by.


Recently she made an appearance.

I was no longer fascinated by her buck teeth.

She was now fat and old.


Cake said...

So to sum up:

A sexy body and charming personality make up for bad teeth?

Brits everywhere just sighed in relief!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

She didn't have bad teeth...she had buck teeth.

They were clean and well cared for.

Buck Toothed Beatles said...

Get Buck

Buck in the USSR

I Am The Beaver

I Wanna Hold Your Teeth

Anonymous said...

Iano has a buck tooth fetish, pass it on!

Spelling Nazi said...

How about that time you misspelled "embarrassing"?

Betty said...

No Kidding...same thing happened to me in grade 4! I was reading a book hidden in my desk and it seems the teacher called my name several times - I answered "in a minute mom" Dead silence in the class must have alerted me to something going on. I looked up to find 35 kids staring at me and a teacher with a shocked look on her face. No detention. I suppose she thought it was punishment enough to be mortified!
I have absolutely no feelings about buck teeth. Rarely see them these days!