It's a gas, gas, gas!
I'm guessing you completely miss out on the point of a coffeemaker with a timer on it...
If I was your shrink I would say that the answer to your identity issues may lie right in your own kitchen. Let's start with your openly hostile choice of words "Maybe you shouldn't." You never question a woman's ability to use her own kitchen appliances, unless perhaps you feel some jealousy or resentment, a desire to claim ownership of them. This, paired with your recent inordinate sense of pride in your cooking abilities, leads me to believe that it is time to take off the Ernest mask. look in the mirror, and repeat to yourself: there's nothing wrong with being gay!
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