Odd Gift for a Manly Man like me:
A paisely ironing board cover. Lots of purple in it. I love it!
I also got a lint brush. It wasn't purple.
So I'm opening up a gift and it was a shirt. A rather flamboyant shirt. Lots of purple in it. Here is the conversation:
ME: "Are you sure this wasn't for Hoagy?"
The following story isn't for the kids.
The other night me and The Hoag are out for Buddy Nite dinner, Christmas style.
Next to us was three drunken women and one REALLY drunken woman.
The REALLY drunken woman turned to us and said:
DRUNK SKANK: "Wow, you two are handsome! I just shaved my pussy!"
ME: "Thank you."
DRUNK SKANK: :::gesturing towards HOAGY::: "And you look like John Mayer!"
HOAGY: "Who is John Mayer?"
MADDOG: "Did Wifey like the jam I gave her?"
ME: "Don't even think about telling me what you want for Christmas next year...I've already got it picked out."
DAUGHTER: "It will be out-dated by then."
(It won't be)
DAUGHTER: "If I need to get up at 4:00am I set my alarm for 1:00am so I know I can still sleep for three hours."
In the movie 'It's a Wonderful Life', when they all start singing in the Bailey's house, why the hell does Bert the Cop have an accordian with him???