Monday, March 24, 2014

Sometimes a camel is just a cigarette.

I went to a casino the other night by myself.

Had some dinner, couple of drinks...

Then I played some roulette. 

A guy sitting next to me at the table got up and left but he forgot his cigarettes (Camels) and his lighter (Bic).

I played for a while and he never came back.

I took the pack of Camels and the Bic lighter and put it next to my stack of chips. Shortly after that a guy comes up to me and 'bums a fag' from me  (that's British for asking for a free cigarette)

No problem...I give him the Camel and flick my Bic and he walks away happy.

I play for a bit longer and then decide to walk around. I take the pack of cigarettes with me. And the lighter.

I'm not sure why. I don't smoke.

But now I'm packin' some smokes and feel really cool. (Cigarettes are still cool, right?)

I play some more games, some slots, goof I need to use the bathroom.

It's tinkle-time at the MGM.

I saunter over to the urinal (that's the thing that men stand at to urinate. The urine comes out of the penis.)

I feel someone hovering over me.

You don't want people hovering over you while urine comes out of your penis. Ever.

And I hear a familiar voice.....

VOICE: " another Camel, Bud?

ME: "Really? You're picking NOW to ask me? Can you wait until I finish? (Finish means when the urine stops coming out of my penis and after I wash my hands.)

VOICE: "Okay."



If you smoke cigarettes chances are that strange men will try to look at your penis.

And they might call you Bud.


LMBS said...

I'm so happy I have a vagina!

Cake not signed in said...

Me too!!

Though I'm sad that Hoagy dumped IANO.

Speaking of Vaginas said...

Sometimes a camel is just a toe.